The Reconstruction of a Broken Heart
by I.Am.Molly
Summary: After tragically losing her first love, Penny begins to realise that sometimes your first love isn't your true love. That just because someone will always have a place in your heart, doesn't mean it can't be destined to belong to someone else.
1. The Funeral

**The Funeral**

Head down, eyes fixated on the ground at her feet, Penny barely registered the clear blue sky above her. The singing birds and cool breeze passing through the trees that ensured the temperature from the hot sun above them never became uncomfortable, the grass beneath her that was a healthy shade of green and the beautiful, bright and colourful flowers scattered around all evaded her attention too.

Had it been any other day than today, this day would have been described by everyone as perfect. Had that lawn not been strewn with headstones, all different shapes and sizes, almost all surrounded by small gifts and flowers. All with names and dates engraved on them. All with one last message, phrase or prayer carved into the stone. Had it not been for that, she would have been feeling entirely different right now.

Her usually bright and freely flowing blonde hair was visibly dulled and pulled tightly back. Black pumps, black skirt, black top and black cardigan was what she wore, her face almost make-up free. Eyes red and swollen with dark circles beneath them. Tears slowly flowing down her cheeks. Not that anyone could see them. She never looked up to let them.

Her throat was tight, aching with the lump that filled it. The crowd around her were mere blurs of black in her peripheral vision. The soothing yet monotonous sounds of the priest as he said his prayers above the gentle sobbing of those around him, was nothing more than white noise to her.

There was an arm linked tightly with hers, which belonged to her mother. The arm she felt draped over her back and hand gently holding her shoulder was her father's. Her parents stood on either side of her, providing their daughter with the only comfort they could offer her at this tragic time, but it didn't help like they hoped. The pain in her heart, the ache in her throat and the tears that stung her eyes were too prominent. She was numb to everything else.

The days leading up to now were nothing but a blur to her. Spending most of it hidden away in her room, barely speaking to anyone, very rarely eating. Getting hardly any sleep even though she was exhausted from the pain, from the crying.

It had taken all of her strength to even come here today. People – friends, family, had told her it would help. That the funeral was the last goodbye and after that, she could begin the process of moving on. Her stomach knotted at the thought. As if she would ever move on. She couldn't. She didn't _want _to.

All she wanted was to have him back. She couldn't even begin to imagine a life where she didn't have him beside her, though she knew she could no longer have it. His arms would never hold her again. She would never feel the kiss of his lips on hers, the sound of his voice telling her he loved her. It was all gone.

One by one, people begun to step forward, saying their goodbye's to the young man that was taken from them way too soon. His mother, his father and his closest friends all choked out a heartfelt line or two, expressing their sadness, their regret and pain at his passing.

She knew that she should say something too. She was his love – first and as destiny would have it – his only. She owed it to his memory; to the time they shared together to say something. The crowd around her waited expectantly for a moment for her to take a step forward like the others had, yet she stayed frozen to her spot.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to sweetie." Her mother whispered, lightly squeezing her arm at the same time her father squeezed her shoulder.

"No-one would blame you if you decide not to." Her father added, his voice softer than she had ever heard it before.

Her eyelids shut tight, a single tear dropping down to land beside her foot. How did she say goodbye to someone she never thought she'd lose?

He had promised that he would never leave her, never hurt her. Vowed that they would be together forever, and she had believed him. She had no reason to doubt him, but now here she was, facing the prospect of a future without him in it. He had left, and she was hurting.

Head still facing downward, she opened her tear filled eyes, looking at and touching the diamond ring upon her fourth finger of her left hand. The ring he had promised her they would grow old together with. The ring that she hadn't long received.

They hadn't even gotten a chance to start making the wedding plans, too busy enjoying the new state of their relationship to worry about the details of it all just yet. They had thought there would have been plenty of time for all that. A shattering pain stabbed at her just at that thought, her throat becoming swollen and tight. Maybe it was for the best that those plans hadn't yet been made. Maybe that was the slither of a silver lining that everyone struggled to see amidst this tragedy.

Her eyes fluttered up to look at the faces surrounding her and she took in a deep breath. For the first time that day she saw her pain mirrored in them, and she saw their sympathy. Yet still she thought, almost selfishly, that their pain was nothing compared to hers. They didn't feel how she did, couldn't even comprehend how painful it was to lose the love of your life. She cared more. She loved him more. She was hurting more. She would miss him more.

As she pulled her arm gently away from her mothers and took a small step forward, more tears fell – she supposed she should get used to that. They would probably never stop. The silence that followed was eerie. Everyone waited patiently to hear the words she would come up with for the man she had loved.

The man she still loved.

But words escaped her. Her brain refused to form a sentence and her throat was so tight she felt like no words would come out even if she tried. There was so much she wanted to say but couldn't pull it together properly. Her heart was full of words to describe how she felt about him. How wonderful he was, how sweet and caring and funny and handsome, but they weren't meant to be spoken here. Not like this.

How was she supposed to say it all to a hole in the ground - to ears that couldn't hear her? Nothing she said would change what had happened. So what was the point? Her goodbye wouldn't bring him back, neither would it stop her pain.

Chewing the inside of her lip, she considered stepping back, but quickly changed her mind. Deep down she wanted to say something – anything - because in years to come she knew she would regret the decision to stay silent. This is the closest she would ever be to him again. This day was made meant for final goodbyes, and that definitely deserved some words.

She took another deep, shaky breath in and swallowed, grimacing at the sting it caused in her throat. A cracked "I…" was all she managed to say though. The lump forcing the rest of her sentence to remain unheard.

She closed her eyes tight and opened them again a few moments later. Despite her silent wish that she would just wake up from this nightmare, she saw the same sight before her and the disappointment hurt like a punch to the throat. This was no dream and this ordeal wasn't going to be over that easily.

She took another breath, urging herself to try again and to speak through the pain. "I'll…" Her voice cracked as she stared down at the wooden box, her hand coming to her chest as if it would help the pain inside. She knew then that the words wouldn't come no matter how badly she wanted them to.

_I'll always love you._ She thought. Focusing hard on the flowers spread out beside the golden plaque, sending the words telepathically. Hoping that wherever he was, he heard them.

_Always._ She added with determination, her heart breaking into pieces, her stomach sick.

Her hands moved up to cover her face as she broke down, a stream of fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. Her knees weakened. "I can't do this." She tearfully croaked. At that moment someone – she wasn't entirely sure who - but someone held her, and she collapsed into them, turning around to weep into their arms, as the crowd wept with her.

He was gone. She was alone, destined to live a life without the one person she wanted to live it with.

Only when she wrapped her arms around the person that was holding her did she realise who it was. "Daddy I can't do this." She quietly sobbed, shaking her head against his chest. "I can't live without him."


	2. A New Start

**Sup! Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter! I see I made some people cry and although that wasn't my intention (I genuinely didn't think it was that sad!) I am super happy it brought out that emotion! This one isn't quite so depressing but if any of you do feel a little sad after it just remember that today The Big Bang Theory got renewed for THREE effing seasons! And that should cheer you all back up again! :) **

**A New Start**

The funeral had been almost a month ago now, and despite everyone's assurances that it would get easier with time, it never did. Although she had gotten a little better at keeping her emotions in check, finally able to get through some days without completely breaking down, she still missed him just as much now as she had for the past few weeks. She still spent more time in her room than anywhere else. Moments would still come when she would be abruptly reminded of the fact that he was gone and wouldn't ever come back. She wondered if those moments would ever truly go away.

Her eyes were always red and sore. The tightness at the back of her throat, and the ache in her heart were constant. She was always on the verge of tears. Never at peace. Always thinking, re-thinking and overthinking every single thing that had happened between them in the days and weeks before his accident. Memories of arguments, of every bad word she had said to and about him came to the forefront of her mind. Wracked with guilt, she hoped, wished and prayed to any God that would listen that he knew she regretted every hate filled argument and every anger fuelled word she had said. Promised the same God that she would never say a bad word about him again if He would just bring him back to her.

For those weeks, grief had overtaken, and overwhelmed her. It still eluded her why something this tragic had happened to her, to him, to his friends and family, and to them as a couple. She didn't deserve to lose the man she loved, his family and friends didn't deserve to lose him either, and he didn't deserve to die. He was too young. It was too sudden.

For days on end she had felt numb, unable to process and deal with the loss. Locking herself away in her room, she had tried to pretend that it hadn't happened, that soon he would walk back through that bedroom door of hers and hold her in his arms like he always had. But it was obvious she was fooling herself and deep down, she knew she couldn't stay like this forever. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't spend her days inside, hating the world for taking him away.

Her mother who had been the first to suggest that she move away.

'_Why don't you get away from here for a while?'_ She had said in a soft, caring tone that only a mother could give. _'Get away from the memories. It will help you to move on.'_

She could still remember scoffing at the idea of it. Anger had risen up and she had stubbornly yelled at her for being, as she had put it at the time, heartless. To her, moving away meant leaving him. It meant abandoning what they had. Of course it didn't help that her mother and herself hadn't always had the best of relationships. Both of them being incredibly hot headed and stubborn. Neither afraid to say what they thought or to back down from an argument regardless of who was right and who was wrong. Over her teenage years they had clashed almost daily, arguing over the most insignificant of things. The only time they truly got on was when they were doing something they both really enjoyed, be it gossiping, shopping or horse riding. Their relationship had strengthened as she had grown though, and although at times they still fought, more often than not they managed to see eye-to-eye.

It was this mildly fractured relationship however, that provoked her to instantly rebel against her mother's suggestion. The teenage side of her showing itself in her vulnerable state, telling her that if her mother thought it a good idea then it most definitely wasn't one. And who was she to suggest she already try to begin to move on anyway? What if she didn't want to move on? What if she wanted to stay in her bubble, clinging to the few memories she had left of him?

In the end, it had been her dad who had convinced that her getting away from Nebraska would be a good idea. It wasn't all that surprising, she had always been one to listen to what her father said over her mother, after all, it was him that she had spent the majority of her childhood with - playing and watching sports, tending the farm, fixing tractors and other sorts of machinery. As a result she had become his 'slugger' and this time spent together had most definitely resulted in her bond with him becoming much stronger than with the rest of her family.

When he had approached her about it she had been curled up under her covers in the room which she had spent much of her childhood. Penny hadn't even noticed his presence in her room that day until he had sat down on the edge of her bed and she felt his weight bearing down on the empty space. She hadn't turned around to face him either until she had felt his hand gently touch her shoulder. After handing her some tissues to wipe her tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes, he got her to sit upright beside him so each of them had their backs against her headboard.

"_Your mom is right y'know, slugger." Wyatt had said after a few moments of silence. "This isn't the best place for you right now."_

The words had been spoken so softly, in a way that Penny had never heard from him in the past but was hearing a lot of lately. Before he continued he had placed his hand on hers, holding it loosely, but firmly.

"_I know you're still hurtin', and all you wanna do is hide away, but you gotta start fresh and you can't do that here."_

"_But daddy-" Her sentence was halted by the crack in her throat, one that shattered Wyatt's heart, leaving him on the verge of tears himself._

"_I know it'll be hard for you, but it'll be harder here." He squeezed her hand and let a silence pass over them._

_Penny thought hard for a few moments. She knew that he – and her mom – were probably right. She was getting nowhere by staying locked up in her room all day. "But… where would I even go?" _

_Wyatt gave a short shrug, "I dunno… You always said you wanted to be an actress some day… what's that place that all the young pretty girls go to when they want to be famous?"_

_A small, sad smile hit her lips, "Hollywood, daddy."_

"_Yeah, that's the one. You always said you wanted to go there."_

_Penny sighed, still reluctant. "I do but-"_

"_No but's. You got big dreams honey. You want to make somethin' of yourself, you don't wanna stay here and get into trouble like your brother, or get knocked up by some idiot like your sister. Don't get me wrong now I love them kids but they ain't the smartest tools in the toolbox." Wyatt smiled as he looked at her, but his expression quickly turned serious again. "I don't like seeing you like this, honey. But you are strong – like your mom. You will get past this. But being here isn't gonna help you do that. You need to start over – in a new place, with new people, and chase that dream you've always had."_

_Penny went quiet, her mind thinking over everything her dad had said. Reaching over, Wyatt gave her a quick kiss on her hair before getting back up, retrieving his hat from the bedside table. "I'll leave you to think about it, honey. And whatever you decide, your mom and I will support you."_

Those words, that day, had been almost inspiring. Being an actress certainly was something she had always dreamed of doing. Ever since she was a kid and had been chosen to be Sleeping Beauty in one of her kindergarten's plays, after which she participated in almost every production her school had put on all the way up until she had left high school. The creative arts had proved to be all she had been really good at in school, and so she had focused her time and energy on that, dismissing the likes of Math and Science and other - what she thought to be - boring stuff like it. It was something that her mom had always been supportive of, having never really understood the more mathematical subjects herself. Wyatt, however, had always been a little more cynical. Insisting that she knuckle down, learn something useful that would help her get a more stable job when she was older. Maybe that was why it had so surprising and inspiring to hear him be so insistent on her following her dreams now. Especially considering she hadn't spoken much about those dreams she once had recently.

Penny had always talked about moving away from Nebraska and fulfilling her dream of being on the big screen, it was only after she had met the man she was destined to lose that that dream had been put aside. Caught up in the world of love, she had almost forgotten her passion for acting. Falling in love had coloured her views of life and had resulted in her only aspiration being to live happily ever after with him. Red carpets and premieres had been replaced with visions of marriage and children. It was so unlike her to become so easily domesticated, but she was in love and it was what she had wanted. She could see now though, that perhaps that was wrong. Perhaps she shouldn't have dismissed her dreams so quickly and maybe this was her chance to really give it a shot. It might not work out, she could fall flat on her face, but what did she have to lose? Surely it was worth a try.

And now here she was, a small town girl with big dreams and a broken heart, living in a huge, unforgiving city, about to start her first day at her new job in The Cheesecake Factory. Her hands trembled, her thumb of her left hand playing with the ring that still sat upon her fourth finger and her teeth gnawing at her lip gave evidence to her nerves. Although she had barely started, she knew already that this was a job she wasn't really going to enjoy, or be good at for that matter. Taking and remembering orders had never really been her forte - she knew this after spending one summer working in a local diner. She would often become side tracked, spending more time talking to her friends than doing any real work. But that wouldn't happen here because, for starters, she didn't really know anyone in this city except from a few of the people that she had been attending acting classes with. And although she may not like it, this job as a waitress was one that she needed. She had bills to pay now, for the first time in her life. Her parents had generously offered to pay her first couple of months of rent in order to give her time to get on her feet, but those months were only weeks away from being over. Soon she would have to pay for her apartment on her own, and as scary as that was, she was determined to do it.

Taking a deep breath as she stood at the archway between the dining area and the kitchen in the restaurant, her heart beating furiously beneath the horrible mustard vest and white shirt she was forced to wear, she studied the abundance of hungry people awaiting a waitress to take their order. Small families, couples, groups of friends and people eating quietly on their own filled up the restaurant, but one group in particular caught her eye. A group of four nerds – she knew they were nerds right away simply because of the way they were dressed - debating something or other quite heatedly. She wasn't sure why it was them she had singled out, possibly because in the restaurant of relatively 'normal' people they had stood out. Maybe it was because of the animated way in which they argued about whatever it was they were arguing about. None of them seemed to back down, especially the taller, lanky looking one with his long sleeves pulled up to his elbows.

It could have been curiosity that sent her over there. Her nosey nature pulling her towards them to see if she could find out what it was they were getting so heated about and as she approached the table, four menus in her still slightly trembling hands, she noticed the table almost covered in comic books. The type her brother had had when he was younger. Her brow furrowed for a moment, but only until the men noticed her presence beside them and she forced a smile on her face. The smile she used to pretend to the world that she was happy, the smile that hid the pain she felt inside.

"Hi! I'm Penny, I'll be your waitress for this evening." She said as chirpily as she could, handing out a menu to each of the men in front of her. They all replied with a stuttered 'hi', their eyes focused on her. "How about I get you all started on some drinks?"


	3. The Cheesecake Factory

**The Cheesecake Factory**

Staring up at the beautiful waitress in front of him, Leonard felt his throat dry up and his heart rate increase rapidly. All she had asked was what he would like to drink. It was a simple question, one that he had been asked many times in this very restaurant, yet now not even his brilliant mind could think up an answer. A little voice in his head shouted at him, telling him to hurry up and reply before he came across like a fool, yet all that left his lips was a cracked, "Uhh."

He always got like this when talking to girls. Flustered and confused, unable to properly pull a sentence together. And it didn't help that she was _so _beautiful.

Her blonde hair was tied up loosely with a few strands hanging down by the soft, rounded features of her face, making it look effortlessly perfect. Like she had just thrown her hair up quickly as she rushed to work, unlike some girls, where it was blindingly obvious they had spent hours getting their hair to look perfect. She didn't seem to have any make-up on either. If she did he was certain it wasn't much and he was glad because it allowed her natural beauty to shine through. Her smile was dazzling, though maybe a little forced. It was her eyes that really caught his attention though. Green, although he supposed some may mistake them for being grey depending on the lighting. They were definitely the highlight of her face, but something in those eyes told him something wasn't all right with this girl that had introduced herself as Penny. They seemed almost sad, something that even the smile on her lips couldn't disguise. Those eyes were hypnotising. They pulled him in. Made him wonder where she had come from, since he was certain he had never seen her here before. Made him question how she had ended up here and why that hint of sadness was in those sparkling eyes. He had only just met her, but he already wanted to know everything there was to know about her.

"Leonard!"

"Huh? Yeah?" Leonard snapped his attention away from Penny, adjusting his glasses as he looked ahead to Sheldon who had just abruptly called his name.

Eyebrows pointed, Sheldon nodded his head towards Penny and he suddenly realised that she was still patiently waiting for him to give his drink order.

"Oh." He cleared his throat, "Yeah, sorry, uh, I'll have, um… just water, please. Thank you."

Glad that, for now, he didn't need to attempt to speak again, he exhaled in relief and relaxed back against his chair while Howard gave Penny his and Raj's order.

_Since when did ordering a drink become so difficult? _He shook his head as the thought crossed his mind. He was a genius, he could solve problems that most people in the world would have a nervous breakdown just looking at, and yet it was the simple task of trying to talk to a pretty girl that left _him_ looking like an idiot and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Flashing a smile at them once more, Penny jotted their orders on her little notepad before sliding it into the pocket of her apron. "Okay great! I'll just go get those for you and then I'll be right back to take your food order." And with that she turned on her heel and left.

Watching her go, admiring her walk and how she managed to make the unappealing uniform she was wearing look amazing, Leonard waited until she was out of sight before letting out a deep breath. Finally able to completely relax.

"Keep dreaming Hofstadter." Howard said, breaking Leonard from the stare he still held with the archway that Penny had just walked through. "It's never gonna happen."

Lifting his arms from his lap and placing them on the table as he leaned forward a little, Leonard frowned in Howard's direction. "You don't know that." He mumbled shrugging one shoulder. "It could happen."

"Dude, come on. She is like… an eleven." Raj observed, "You are – at best - a five. It's not going to happen."

"Actually…" Sheldon spoke up, a thoughtful look on his face.

Rolling his eyes, Leonard turned in his direction. "What?"

"Well, assuming you are using the numerical system to determine how desirable one person is to another, then his awarding you a five sounds quite accurate. Maybe even generous. You see, despite your above average intelligence, you are decidedly below average in most other areas. Sports, height," Sheldon begun to list the points on his fingers, "quality of vision, ability to digest dairy products-"

"Okay, okay." Leonard held up a hand to encourage him to stop talking. "I get your point. She's out of my league."

"Way out." Agreed Raj.

"Let's face it the only one of us here who has any kind of a chance with her is me." Howard confidently interjected.

"You?" Leonard, and Raj said in unison, whilst Sheldon simply scowled in Howard's direction.

"Yes. Me. Out of the four – well three of us because Sheldon doesn't really count – I am the only one with enough balls to actually talk to her. Raj can't speak around her _at all_ and when _you_ do," he motioned to Leonard, "you can barely even pull a sentence together. How do you intend on asking her out if you couldn't even give her your drink order?"

"Well… I… I did give her it. It just… took me a while." Leonard looked sheepishly down at the table and his fumbling hands for a moment, before lightly shaking his head and giving a cool casual shrug as he sat back in his chair. "Anyway, who said I even _want_ to ask her out?" He said dismissively.

"Alright then, does this mean I can ask her out?"

He quickly sat up straight again, his brow furrowed. "Wh- No. I mean… you can try, but if she's out of _my_ league then she's _definitely_ out of yours."

"I feel compelled to agree here." Sheldon nodded, "The only thing Leonard has going for him is his intelligence and you barely have that. In fact, I believe that you and this Penny are not only in different leagues, but playing in completely different sports."

"Yeah, well, we'll see about that."

From the corner of his eye, Leonard spotted Penny on her way back over to their table with a tray of drinks in her hand. "I guess we will. Here she comes now."

When she reached their table Leonard offered her a timid smile as she placed the circular tray down and begun to lift their drinks from it. When her eyes caught his as she placed his water in front of him, she gave him a small smile in return. That tiny smile sent his heart racing once again. He figured it was probably one sided but that second of eye contact – to him – was electric. And in that brief second he found himself hoping that whatever moves Howard tried to pull on her wouldn't work.

Luckily - and unsurprisingly - when Howard tried his best to attract Penny's attention throughout the evening, attempting to sound as charming as he could with foreign languages and cheesy, over-used chat up lines, the only response she gave him was a cringed look that screamed 'what the heck is wrong with that guy?' Something that he and Raj took great pleasure in pointing out to him.

Though in all honesty, his own approach to her wasn't much better. Despite the fact he could hardly keep his eyes off of her during the whole dinner, any time she looked his way he averted his gaze like a shy teenager. The guys were right - she was too beautiful for him. There was no point in even toying with the idea that she would ever want to be anything more than a waitress to him. She already thought Howard was weird, and probably thought the same of Sheldon with his anal approach to ordering food and Raj who hadn't spoken a word to her even when she had asked him how his food was. It wasn't a huge stretch to assume she thought he was a little weird too.

After finishing their food and paying their bill - leaving a much healthier tip than usual - the four men left the restaurant and while Howard, Raj and Sheldon slipped into a conversation about which video game to play when they got home, Leonard struggled to remove the pretty blonde from his thoughts. Mentally noting that they would have to start making much more regular visits to The Cheesecake Factory.

* * *

When Penny finally got to head home later that night, it was with a tired head and aching feet. The seemingly endless stairs hadn't helped and silently she cursed whoever it was that had broken that elevator. Her first shift had been long and exhausting, and although she had gotten along well with her co-workers, the day really couldn't have gone much worse. Four times she had gotten orders wrong and she had even managed to smash one plate and spill two drinks. It didn't help that her boss had been constantly looking over her shoulder, making sure she was doing things properly and correcting her when she wasn't. It had been unsettling, having someone watch over you like that, but it was her first day. It probably wouldn't be like that for too long. Not that she would be there for too long anyway. This was just a temporary thing. Something to keep her going while she attended the acting classes she had recently started attending until she got her first real acting job and was propelled into the world of show business.

The tips were good though. Despite her horrible waitressing she had still managed to pull in a few extra dollars for herself by just being generally nice to people. Though the other waitresses had told her the fact that she was pretty and blonde probably helped too, and that the best way for her to make big tips was to harmlessly flirt her way through her tables. She had laughed it off at first but they had been right. The best tips she had received had come from that first nerdy table of four she had served and now that she thought about it, all of her best tips had come from the tables of groups of men. However she was a little sceptical of the flirting thing. Sure it would probably earn her a little more money but doing that was something she knew would just feel wrong. Even the thought of flirting with someone else made her feel a little sick. Touching her thumb to her ring, her stomach clenched and she shook her head. No. No, she definitely wasn't ready for that yet.

Stepping up onto her floor with a deep breath to clear her thoughts before they got too much for her, Penny briefly glanced in the direction of her neighbour's door. Apartment 4a. She still hadn't met whomever it was that lived behind that door and she supposed that was her own fault. She had been – to her own admission - rather reclusive in the few weeks since she had moved here. The only times she had really left her apartment was to get groceries and to get to her acting classes. She knew it was wrong and her parents had told her it was unhealthy for her to spend so much time inside but part of her still refused to admit that this was her reality. As much as she really liked her new apartment and the fact that she was out in California to chase her dreams, she still fell asleep every night hoping that she would wake up in Nebraska with the man she loved by her side and that everything that had happened in these past few months had been nothing more than a nightmare.

Opening her purse, Penny searched for the keys to her apartment before slipping the lock inside. Before she turned the key to open her door though, she took another look at the apartment opposite hers. She could hear people inside and the faint sound of their laughter. A sting of jealousy hit her. It had been so long since she had really laughed. So long that she honestly couldn't remember the last time she had.

Tomorrow, she decided. She would introduce herself to them tomorrow. She couldn't keep herself hidden forever – and she didn't _want _to. She wanted to meet people. To make friends and to _laugh_ again. The only thing she dreaded, was the questions. The fact that she refused to take off her engagement ring invited the questions of her fiancé and she just wasn't sure she was ready to answer those kinds of questions yet. They were going to come soon though. She had already spotted a few of the other waitresses in work taking a sly glance at that ring on her finger. It was only a matter of time before they asked about it. The simple solution was to take it off and avoid it altogether, but she wasn't sure she was ready for that either. He was still her fiancé. She still loved him. Taking it off meant she was opening herself up to others. It meant that she had moved on, but she hadn't. Not yet. She failed to see a time when she ever would.

With a dejected sigh she turned back to her apartment, opened the door and stepped inside. After closing the door behind her she threw her purse on to her teal coloured sofa, though the colour could barely be seen through the amount of stuff that cluttered it. Clothes were flung over the back, and some magazines and her laptop filled up the cushion space leaving only a small place for her to sit. The whole apartment was still a bit of a mess. Boxes still sat half empty on her floor, her coffee table and bookshelves were scattered with stuff but in no real order. Dishes were beginning to pile up in her sink and her bedroom was like a laundry basket. It was dark too. Aside from the bright sofa the rest of the place was dull and lifeless. The drapes and walls were all decorated in neutral shades with no pictures or paintings to give it some life. Even her bed sheets were a boring shade of cream.

Exhaling, she leaned back against her door and closed her eyes. She had to sort this place out, because she knew that this apartment reflected how she felt inside right now and that wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't who she was. She was a bright and happy person, at least she had been before what had happened, and she wanted that back. She wanted to be that person again and although it was difficult for her to envision, she _wanted_ to move on. Not forget, she would _never_ forget. But she wanted to _want _to get out of bed every morning. To be able to face the day without having that constant gut wrenching feeling of loss looming over her. And maybe fixing up her apartment was a good way to start.

She could tidy it up, decorate it properly and brighten it up a bit. Finish unpacking all of those boxes, clean up her closet and give it some sense of order. Take out her photographs of her loved ones and place them around the apartment. Her rent was still paid up for the next month, so she could use her earnings to buy some new drapes, new bed sheets and maybe some new furniture. Opening her eyes, she scanned the apartment once more. This was her home now. She had to accept that her life wasn't going to be how she thought it would and embrace her new life and that started here. It started with opening herself up properly to people again, by not living her life in her apartment. By going out, meeting new people, making new friends and laughing again.

But that was easier said than done.


	4. New Neighbours

**New Neighbours**

Sliding off his glasses, Leonard leaned back in his desk chair, sighing as he rubbed his eyes. Over two hours he had spent in front of his laptop putting the finishing touches to a lecture he was due to give in a few days time, and that time in front of a bright screen had taken its toll. The back of his eyes hurt with a pain he knew all too well to be the beginnings of a migraine, and his stomach was beginning to rumble with hunger. Sitting forward again, he quickly put his glasses back on and hit save on his document before closing the lid of the laptop and standing up, heading towards the bathroom to retrieve some painkillers from the medicine cabinet.

"Sheldon!" He shouted down the hall as he entered the bathroom, knowing that Sheldon was in his room. "What's the plans for dinner?"

Of course, Leonard already knew what Sheldon would say. It was Friday, which meant dinner consisted of Chinese food, but Leonard had other ideas for dinner tonight. It was getting Sheldon to go along with them that would prove difficult.

"What do you mean what are the plans for dinner?" Sheldon said as he exited his room and stood by the doorway of the bathroom. "It's Friday."

"Yeah I know and Friday means Chinese food," opening the cabinet, Leonard reached for the box of pills he needed, "but I was thinking we do something different for dinner tonight."

"Something different?"

"Yeah." Leonard gave a casual shrug as he closed the cabinet door and headed back down the hall and out into the kitchen, towards the fridge.

"And what do you suggest we do?" Sheldon asked, following him.

Leonard grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and kicked the door shut. "Umm, well," placing the bottle on the breakfast bar, he popped out two tablets from the packet, "I dunno, I was thinking we could maybe go to The Cheesecake Factory again." As soon as he said the words he threw the tablets into his mouth, washing them down quickly with his bottle of water as he gauged Sheldon's reaction.

"And may I ask how going to The Cheesecake Factory is 'doing something different for dinner' when we just ate out there two days ago?"

Swallowing down another gulp of water, Leonard shrugged once more. "It's different for a Friday."

With a deep sigh Sheldon turned away and headed towards the sofa. "Why do I have a feeling this sudden suggestion of change in our eating habits has something to do with the new waitress that forgot to put bacon on my BBQ bacon cheeseburger on Wednesday?"

"It doesn't." He lied. In fact, that waitress was exactly the reason he wanted to go back. She was the reason he would happily eat there for every evening of the week if he could.

Turning around, Sheldon gave him a knowing look before sitting down on his spot.

"Right, okay fine. Maybe it is a _little_ bit about the waitress." Bottle of water in hand, Leonard walked over to sit on his chair. "But don't you think it might be kinda fun to do something different this Friday."

"_Fun_?" Sheldon looked at him as if he had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Yeah okay no." Shaking his head, Leonard slumped back against his chair in defeat. It was a stupid thing to do anyway. Trying to convince Sheldon to do something different with the promise that it would be 'fun' wouldn't get him anywhere.

Picking up the remote from the coffee table, Sheldon looked to Leonard, "So, are you going to get the Chinese food or…?"

* * *

Over an hour later Leonard stomped up the last few steps on to his floor, a bag of Chinese food in one hand and his keys in the other, his head tilted downward looking for the key he needed to open his apartment door.

"CRAP!"

Looking up, Leonard turned to see where the angry slur had come from, his eyes instantly meeting a woman at the apartment door across from his. A brown paper grocery bag was at her feet, toppled over with the groceries inside spilling out across the floor. Though he and Sheldon had known that someone had replaced Louis/Louise - their old transvestite neighbour - this was the first time that either of them had actually seen her. All he could actually see of her though was her wavy blonde hair and dark brown leather jacket as she fumbled with the lock of her door, her purse falling off her shoulder as she juggled another brown bag of groceries in her arm.

"Are you okay?" Leonard shyly asked, taking a step towards her.

"Do I _look _okay?!" Penny snapped. Turning around briefly to face whomever it was that had spoken before focusing her attention back on the lock.

His heart skipped a beat. Almost certain from that quick look he got of her that she was the waitress that had served him only a couple of days ago. "Uh, well… no." For a second he hesitated. Wondering if he should leave her alone because she really didn't seem in the mood to talk to him – or anyone for that matter - or whether he should continue to help her and find out if she really was who he thought she was.

"Oh my God what the _hell_ is wrong with this key?!" Stamping her foot on the ground, Penny forced the key out of the lock and with a frustrated sigh ran her hand through her hair.

Cautiously, Leonard took another few steps closer to her, stepping over a few of the scattered pieces of fruit that had escaped her grocery bag. As he got nearer to her he realised her problem, "Um… you, uh…" He cleared his throat and she looked over to him. It was definitely her. Sure she looked a little more aggravated than she had the last time he had seen her. Eyes a little tired looking and that smile that he had admired before was gone, but it was definitely her. "You're using the wrong key."

"What?" She scowled, "No I'm not, this is-" Holding up her keys her look softened, noticing the key she had been trying to open the door with was actually the one for her car. "Oh." Looking up at him she gave a small, slightly embarrassed smile. "Whoops…"

Certain that his heart had just melted in his chest, Leonard gave her a smile back. "Do you want a hand with all of this?" He asked, motioning to the fallen groceries.

"Uh, yeah, sure. If you don't mind. Thank you."

Nodding, Leonard instantly put down his plastic bag full of food and set about collecting the groceries from the floor and putting them back into the bag. As he did this, Penny opened her apartment door, which unsurprisingly opened with ease as soon as she switched to the correct key, before bending down to help pack up the mess in the hall. "So, how did all of this happen?"

"I dunno." Penny sighed, "I was carrying the two bags and trying to get my keys at the same time and then my phone started ringing so I tried to get into my purse to get that and that's when one of the bags fell," the words fell out of her mouth in a rush, "and instead of doing what any normal person would do and put the other one down before trying to get into the apartment, I just decided to be a smart ass and hold onto it and that's probably how I ended up trying to get into my home with my car key." She stopped and took a breath, "Then that's when you showed up."

Leonard looked up at her and smiled, holding her gaze for a moment before going back to what he was doing.

Before continuing to pick up the mess with him, Penny looked over at Leonard, frowning thoughtfully as a familiar feeling came over her. "Hey, I know you." She smiled, pointing at him with a packet of spaghetti pasta in her hand. "From The Cheesecake Factory. I served you and your friends a couple of days ago."

Leonard was a little take aback to say the least. Sure, he had remembered her – a woman as beautiful as her was hard to forget. He had even gone as far as to try and break his best friends rigid routine just on the off-chance he would get to see her again, but under no circumstances had he ever anticipated _her_ remembering _him_. Especially considering he and his friends were probably only one of many tables that evening that she had waited on. "Um, yeah." After placing one last item into the large paper bag he stood and picked it up, only ever making eye contact with her for a split second before looking away again. "You uh, you remember me?"

"Well, yeah." Penny stood too, "You guys were my first ever table." She grinned, "Plus it's kinda hard to forget a group of guys over the age of twelve sitting at a table with a bunch of comic books." Her grin turned into a soft laugh as she headed into her apartment, picking up the grocery bag she had placed on her coffee table earlier, "And a guy in a turtleneck constantly asking me out with the cheesiest lines imaginable. That's pretty unforgettable too."

"Ah, yeah," He nodded, a little embarrassed, "that would be Howard." For a moment he stood hesitant at her doorway, unsure of whether to follow her into her apartment since she hadn't actually asked him too, but doing it anyway because he felt foolish just standing there with her groceries.

"So," Reaching the kitchen, Penny dropped her grocery bag down. "What's your name then?"

"Leonard." He quickly replied, his eyes on the floor as he navigated his way around her apartment, eventually making it safely to her kitchen and sitting his bag next to where she had put hers. "And you're Penny, right?"

"Yup!" She grinned again, holding eye contact with him for just a second before he broke it and looked awkwardly to his feet and around the apartment. "Yeah, uh, sorry about the mess. I really suck at unpacking and decorating, so there's kinda just stuff everywhere. I meant to clear it all up yesterday but I had to work so… yeah." She shrugged, "Anyway, thank you, Leonard. For helping me with all of this."

"Oh that's okay. And for the record the apartment isn't _that_ bad it just needs… organizing. My roommate, Sheldon, would actually be a great help with that if you needed it." He chuckled.

"I'll keep that in mind." Penny grinned back at him, before her expression turned more serious and she bit on her lower lip, "And, uh… I'm sorry about earlier… for snapping at you and stuff."

"Oh, no, it's okay. I understand. We all have bad days."

Penny nodded, a small smile still on her lips. She liked this guy and she was pretty sure he liked her too, though probably in a different kind of way. She had a feeling that he had somewhat of a crush on her by the nervous way in which he spoke to her, how he refused to meet her eye for too long and the way he would look over at her when he thought she couldn't see him. It wasn't quite what she was used to though. Usually when men were attracted to her they would hit on her. It was what she had been used to back in Nebraska and a little since she had moved over here. The fact that she still wore her engagement ring obviously hadn't deterred those men from asking her out. Either they hadn't noticed it or they simply didn't care. Of course she had turned down every attempt that was sent her way, refusing to even consider the idea of dating again because in her eyes she wasn't available.

The fact that Leonard wasn't that forward with her was probably what endeared her to him more. That he was sweet, shy and reserved. She barely knew him yet she already felt strangely at ease with him. He wasn't asking anything from her, he was just there, helping her with her groceries.

"I should probably go." Leonard said reluctantly, just realising that he had left his and Sheldon's dinner out in the hallway in a plastic bag.

"Oh right, yeah." Walking around the kitchen counter, Penny headed towards the door and waited as Leonard walked out of the apartment. "I guess I'll see you around then."

"Yeah, I guess so." Giving a shy smile, Leonard picked up his takeout dinner from the floor.

"Okay well, thank you again." Walking forward a step or two, Penny pulled Leonard in for a quick hug.

Shocked, Leonard simply stood still as Penny held him for those brief seconds and when he did finally pull up the courage to lift a hand to hug her back, she pulled away, flashing a bright smile his way. He knew he was supposed to say goodbye now and leave for his own apartment, but that hug had sent his adrenaline pumping and the sweet vanilla scent that he had gotten a quick whiff of proved to be almost addictive. He wanted to have her around for longer. He wanted to know more about this girl that had moved across the hall from him. "I have Chinese food." He blurted out, holding the bag up. "Um, I mean, my roommate and I are having Chinese food tonight."

"O-kay." Penny replied slowly, frowning, but still a little amused.

"You could eat with us." He swiftly added, "If you like. We have plenty here for three. I'm sure Sheldon wouldn't mind." He said even though he knew that was a lie. Sheldon almost definitely _would_ mind but he just didn't care. "If… if you want to."

Penny considered saying no, much of her wanting to just close the door so she could relax on her sofa for the night. But that Chinese food smelled good, and she was very aware that if she wanted to eat tonight she would either have to order something and wait for it or cook it herself. This was a much easier option. Plus she kind of wanted to spend a little more time with him, and meet this other neighbour of hers. And she _had_ promised herself that she would socialise more.

"Okay, sure. I'll just put away this stuff that has to go in the fridgerator first."

Leonard nodded, his smile widening uncontrollably. Not for a second did he _actually_ think she would agree to his offer. But she had, and now she was going to be spending part of her evening with him and Sheldon.

Suddenly his stomach dropped. She was going to be spending the evening with him and Sheldon. _Sheldon_. He was going to embarrass him - he knew it. He was going to bitch and moan, and rant and rave because of this unexpected house guest, and Penny was going to wish she had never agreed to eat with them. She probably won't ever eat with them again after this. He'd be lucky if she ever _spoke_ to him again after inflicting the crazy world of Sheldon on her. He'd probably bring up his embarrassing middle name too, and there was always a chance that the bathroom schedule could come up as well, or that disgusting chart that hung on his fridge. That was the last thing that they needed while they ate.

As soon as her groceries were packed away however, and she turned to him with a smile, ready to leave, all his worries were forgotten. It would probably go much better than he anticipated. He hoped it did.

He _should_ warn her though, he decided as they walked from her apartment and over to hers. "I, um… my roommate - Sheldon," He began as he stopped just outside his door, "he's a little…" Leonard searched for the appropriate word, "different."

"Different?"

"Yeah... He… he's a bit… out there." Leonard noticed the slightly worried look on Penny's face, "He's completely harmless of course," he added quickly, "but you probably haven't ever met someone like him before. So, I'm just warning you."

With that, Penny cautiously followed Leonard into his apartment, the toothy smile he gave her before opening the door helping somewhat in the way of calming her worry over the man she was about to meet.

The apartment she walked into was pretty much what she had expected. Walls and shelves were dedicated with action figures and posters. One wall had a bookshelf with more books than she had ever seen in one room that wasn't a library. There were so many gadgets too. A television, a Playstation, an Xbox, a Wii and at least two laptops. This was unmistakeably a home for nerds.

One thing that did surprise her though, was the two whiteboards standing near the centre of the apartment with a whole bunch of letters and numbers and signs that she could remember seeing in high school but never understood. She still didn't understand it now, but she could tell that whatever it was that was on that board made sense to them. They were nerds, she had assumed that they were smart, but this was a whole new kind of smart that she just hadn't anticipated.

"Nice place." She commented as she continued to take in her surroundings, suddenly feeling very aware of how bad her apartment must have looked in comparison to this one.

"Thanks. Have a seat, I'll just grab some plates and stuff."

"Have you read_ all_ of these books?" Penny asked as she walked to the sofa to sit down.

Leonard opened the door to one of the cupboards and pulled out a few plates. "Hm, most of them."

"Wow."

Looking over at her, Leonard smiled as he watched her continue to look over his apartment, a look of wonderment on her face, coupled with a hint of confusion as her eye caught certain objects in the room. His heart fluttered just a little. She really was adorable.

"Ah, you're back." Sheldon said as he appeared from the bathroom and walked down the hallway, just as Leonard was taking the pates and food over to the coffee table, "I was beginning to wonder what was taking you so long." Stepping down the step from the hallway, Sheldon spotted the blonde girl that he instantly recognised as the waitress from The Cheesecake Factory sitting in his spot. This was completely unacceptable. "Leonard," He said sternly, "may I speak with you for a moment."

From her place on the couch Penny watched with curiosity as Sheldon led Leonard over to the kitchen. She couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but she assumed it had something to do with her being there, and Sheldon didn't seem very happy. Chewing on her lower lip, Penny considered making up an excuse to leave just to save the friends arguing over her presence there, but just as she begun to think about it, they stopped talking and Sheldon walked over to her with Leonard in tow.

Arms behind his back, Sheldon stood between the couch and chair, looking at Penny. "You're in my spot."

Brow furrowed, Penny glanced briefly at the empty space beside her and vacant chair to her right, confused as to why he simply didn't just sit there. "Excuse me?"

"That spot you are sitting on. It's mine. If you wish to eat here with us then you must move. People don't sit on my spot. I sit on my spot."

"What difference does it make?"

"What difference does it-" Sheldon's hands dropped to his side and he looked at Leonard, his eyes wide in horror. Leonard simply put his hand to his forehead and shook his head, and Sheldon turned back to Penny, "The difference, Penny, is that in the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there." He pointed to said windows, before turning to the television, "It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion." With his point made, Sheldon looked expectantly at Penny.

"You don't have to move." Leonard assured her, ignoring the look Sheldon gave him.

"Um… no, it's okay. I can move down." She said as she shuffled down the couch, still not quite sure of why she even had to move in the first place.

With Sheldon happy in his spot, Leonard opened the takeout packets and picked up one of the three plates, handing one to Penny. "See, told you he was crazy." He muttered as Penny took the plate from him, smiling when his words elicited a small laugh from her. It was a sound he hoped to hear much more of. A sound he would happily hear for the rest of his life.

"I'm not crazy." Sheldon protested. "My mother had me tested."

Leonard and Penny shared a smile, before filling up their plates with food. Conversation flowed quite easily between them after that. For the majority of the time Leonard and Penny talked mainly to each other, with Sheldon adding his own two cents on what they were saying every so often.

Leonard learned that Penny was born and raised in Nebraska, and that she had come to Pasadena a few weeks ago with the hopes of becoming a movie star. He in turn told her about his job at Caltech, pointing it out to her from the window when she seemed confused as to what Caltech was. He explained that they were both physicists and Sheldon, of course, chose to add that they weren't just physicists, they were geniuses.

It was a fact that shocked Penny. She had expected them to be really smart. The utterly confusing numbers and symbols on their whiteboard and the abundance of books they owned making that quite obvious. But she hadn't expected them to be _that_ smart, possibly because of their love of superheroes and comic books. When she pictured a genius, she thought of some older guy with grey hair and huge glasses wearing a horrible shirt tucked into a pair of high waisted slacks. She certainly didn't picture two guys wearing clothes that looked like they had come from the boys section of the department store and with more gaming gadgets and comic books than her nephew.

But they were interesting, and funny, and she felt incredibly comfortable around them for reasons she just didn't understand considering how different they were to her.

That comfort only stayed until Sheldon pointed out something she had hoped none of them would notice though. Something that in the time she had spent with them she had forgotten about. Her ring.

Reaching over the coffee table to pick up the fortune cookie Leonard had offered to her after she had commented on how much she loved them, Sheldon spotted the diamond sparkler on her finger. "Oh, I see you are engaged to be married Penny. Will we be meeting your fiance?"

Penny's face fell and her stomach churned.

Leonard almost choked on the sip of water he was taking. "You're engaged?" He asked when he could, unable to hide the disappointment in his tone.

Dropping the fortune cookie, Penny pulled her hand back to her lap, placing her other hand quickly over it. "Uh, um," she stuttered, unsure of where to look, unable to meet their eyes. Her heart rate increased, her palms sweating as she considered her answer. She couldn't tell them the truth. Not yet. She wasn't prepared to explain it or to hear their sympathy. She didn't want them to stop treating her as normal as they were. She didn't want them to take pity on her. She liked that they didn't know yet.

Sheldon looked to Leonard, confused by her reaction to what he thought was a simple yes or no question. But Leonard was just as confused as he was.

"I um, I have to go." Penny stood and walked towards the door.

Putting his plate down on the coffee table, Leonard stood up too. "Wait, no, Penny, you don't have to-"

"Sorry," Penny swung around just as she reached the door, her eyes brimming with tears, something that didn't escape Leonard's attention, "thanks for dinner and everything but I," her voice cracked and she shook her head, "I have to go."

And with that she left, leaving both Leonard and Sheldon looking at the door in confusion. Wondering why that question had resulted in such a reaction.

"Well that was unexpected."

"Yeah…" Leonard agreed, still frowning in the direction of his door, "It was."


	5. An Apology

**Waddup! This chapter is fairly little. Ok, well, it's not _that_ little but its littler than it was going to be. I cut a huge part off to put into the next chapter instead because it was making it too long and because i wanted to get something up since it's been a while. Once again thanks for everyone following this story and reviewing and stuff. We aren't really into much of the whole Leonard and Penny stuff yet, just getting them acquainted and stuff just now but we are getting there! **

* * *

**An Apology**

"So she just ran off?" Sitting at the far end of the sofa, Howard bent forward with his takeout food in his hands, placing his elbows on his knees.

"Yeah." Leonard glumly replied from his chair. Looking down at the takeout food on his lap, he playfully pushed what was left of it around the tray with his plastic fork. Ever since Penny had run off the day before he had been in a bit of a slump. Disappointed that the girl he had already accumulated a massive crush on, despite only ever talking to her twice, may already be taken. Worrying that even if she wasn't engaged, that what had happened yesterday would sever what little chance he ever had of being with her.

"Without any explanation at all?"

"Yeah."

"That's odd." Raj chimed in from his spot on the centre of the sofa. "So… what do you think's going on?"

"I have no idea." Sighing, he put the fork in with the leftover food and placed the tray on the coffee table. "I thought about it a lot last night and the only real reasons I can think of for her being so sensitive about that subject is that she and this fiancé of hers either just had a big fight or are recently separated or something."

"And you're hoping out of those two that it's the latter, correct?"

"Well… yeah." Leonard nodded and sat back with a huff. "I just can't believe I never noticed that ring before Sheldon did."

"Probably because when you were talking to her you weren't looking at her _hands_." Howard smirked and raised his eyebrows, "If you know what I mean."

Leonard scowled in Howard's direction. Not quite in the mood to listen to his sleazy comments, even though he knew he was probably right. Not once had his focus been directed towards her hands. Her perfectly rounded face? Her sparking green eyes? Her hair cascading past her shoulder? A quick peek at her chest as she had leaned over to pick up some groceries from the floor? Her shapely legs and backside in those dark red skinny jeans as she had entered her apartment before him? Yes. But never her hands.

Sitting up straight, his look softened as he exhaled once again. "What do I even do now?" He asked his three friends, looking for any sort of advice even though he wasn't sure whatever advice they had to offer would be helpful. None of them really had much experience in dealing with the opposite sex. "Should I apologise?"

"Why would _you_ apologise?" Asked Raj, "You did nothing wrong."

"I dunno…" He hesitated, "because she's upset?"

"Okay, listen," Howard placed his food on the coffee table, "you are looking at this the wrong way here."

"I am?"

"Yeah." He said, as if it were obvious, his brows raised, "Don't you realise, this is perfect for you!" He gave a light chuckle and when Leonard's confused expression didn't change, he explained. "She's engaged right? But she's sad, so that obviously means she's either unhappy in the relationship or there_ is_ no relationship anymore. Either way, this is your way in. It means you can get to be the one she confides in and by seeing her in that vulnerable state and helping her through it you are automatically raising your slim chances of _actually_ dating her."

Leonard thought for a second, before shaking his head, "I'm not doing that Howard. I'm not going to ask her out while she's upset."

"Why not?"

"I don't know... it just seems wrong. What if she isn't over this guy and I just ended up being some rebound for her to date before she goes back to him again?"

"Well, you would get a few months of regular sex out of it so I still don't see the problem here."

"No." He shook his head, "You might be okay with manipulating her feelings like that but I'm not. If she's going to date me I want it to be because she _wants_ to date me not because she's sad and trying to get over someone else."

"Alright," Howard shrugged, "looks like you're never going to get her then." He commented and Leonard looked his way, frowning.

"Okay, so, if Leonard isn't going to do it does that mean I can?" Raj asked, raising his hand a little.

"We've been over this Raj. You can't even _talk_ to her unless you're drunk and when you _are _you're an ass. If Leonard isn't going to do then it should be me."

"Guys, no-one is hitting on her!" Leonard said, becoming obviously irritated. "Okay? There's obviously something bothering her and I'm not going to let you two use that as a tool to try and get into her pants."

"But-"

"No buts. Sheldon's already freaked her out I don't need you two making it worse. You'll end up driving the only hot neighbour I've ever had out of the building. I don't think any of us want that. Well…" he nodded in Sheldon's direction, "besides Sheldon maybe." Reluctantly, Howard and Raj nodded in agreement and Leonard relaxed back into his seat again, "And anyway…" He continued, his voice softening, "she _could _already have a fiancé." The words made his gut churn. "And I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be too happy if he caught some nerds hitting on his girlfriend."

"That's true." Raj agreed.

"And I bet he is one of those really huge guys with arm muscles the size of my thigh."

"And he's probably tall too. Like one of those dreamy guys from The Bachelor or something."

Leonard, Howard and Sheldon each gave Raj a funny look, before Leonard spoke again, "Okay, can we change the subject now?"

"Oh thank God." Sheldon proclaimed as he sprung to life, leaning forward from his spot to pick up the remote for the television from the coffee table. "I thought that tedious conversation was never going to end. Now, can we get back to the important stuff? Which movie shall we watch tonight? Star Wars five: The Empire Strikes Back, or Star Wars four: New Hope?"

* * *

Standing at the door to apartment 4a, Penny took in a shaky breath, fixing the purse on her shoulder as she prepared to knock. She was dressed in her Cheesecake Factory uniform, ready to reluctantly head to work to begin the dreaded dinner shift, but there was something she had to do first. Taking one more deep breath in, she knocked on the door, taking half a step back and chewing on her lip as she waited on someone to answer.

It dawned on her then that she wasn't even entirely sure what she would say. All she knew was that she had to apologise for how things had been left the day before. She hadn't meant to leave so abruptly, but Sheldon's mention of her ring had caught her off guard. She had panicked, and she knew she had to make it right; sooner rather than later. They were good guys, and before that had happened she had really enjoyed spending time with them. Having this hanging over them, making things awkward was something she really didn't want, especially considering how close they lived to one another. And she definitely didn't want that awkwardness with Leonard either. They had only just met but she already felt some sort of a connection with him. Ever since arriving in Pasadena, he was the only one she had felt completely at ease around and although she couldn't really explain why, she didn't want to lose that already.

Apologising wasn't something she was very good at though. And what if he expected an explanation as to why she ran off in the first place? That was an explanation she just couldn't give him yet.

Just as she was beginning to wonder what kind of explanation she could give that didn't give away too much, the door in front of her opened and Leonard stood before her, obviously surprised by her being there.

"Oh. Penny... Hi." Leonard felt instantly nervous. He had no idea why she was here or what she was going to say and he could feel his friends' curious eyes burning into his back.

"Hi." Penny gave a shy smile, "Um, could I talk to you for a second?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Nodding, Leonard closed the door behind him and stepped into the hallway.

"Okay so, I…" She took a quick breath. This was harder than she had thought it would be. "I just wanted to apologise. You know," she shrugged one shoulder to her ear, "for yesterday. I shouldn't have run off like that." Her clasped hands fidgeted nervously in front of her, as Leonard stood quiet obviously waiting for her to continue, "The thing is, I've kinda… kinda got some stuff going on right now, and your friend Sheldon's question it just… it surprised me. But I still shouldn't have left like that. It was really crappy of me after you being so nice and inviting me over and stuff. So, yeah," she gave him a small smile, "I'm sorry."

Leonard stood speechless for a second. This turn of events had shocked him. It was very rare that the pretty girls were ever apologising to _him_ for something. "Oh. No, that's okay." He reassured her with a smile, "You don't have to apologise. Sheldon shouldn't have been so nosey anyway. Asking you personal things when we had only just met... He's not really great with social situations. " Though he knew that what Sheldon had asked hadn't actually been that personal, or out of line, he just wanted to make her feel a little better about the situation.

"No, no. He was fine, it's just…" Penny looked down at her hands, her teeth gnawing on her lip. When she blinked her eyes back up at him their eyes met. "It's complicated."

It wasn't really. In fact it was quite simple, but it was the only thing she could say to that wondering look that didn't invite any more questions. Though she knew it would probably only add to those already in his head. But for now, it would do. At least until she knew him a little better. Then she would tell him. She would have to at some point.

"Oh... okay." He said with a nod, understanding that that was the only explanation he was getting but being happy with it regardless. The air had been cleared between them, and although he still didn't know what kind of significance that ring on her finger held, he was happy knowing by her reaching out to him to apologise that she at least wanted to be friends with him. That at some point he would hopefully find out what was going on with her. "That's fine. You don't have to explain yourself to me anyway."

"I know but still, I wanted you to know that everything was okay. I really didn't want you to think I was mad at you or anything." Smiling as he smiled back at her, Penny unclasped her hands, dropping them to her sides with a breath of relief. "Anyway, I should probably go. The Cheesecake Factory beckons me." She let out a soft laugh. "Thanks for being so… understanding, about all of this."

"Yeah. No problem. And look if you ever want to come over for, um, for dinner, or whatever, again… or, I don't know, if you're out of coffee or something, feel free to knock on our door."

"Thanks. I'll remember that. Though I'm not really sure you would wanna see me if I hadn't had any coffee. It can get _pretty_ scary." They shared a laugh, and as Penny thought about how sweet her new neighbour was, Leonard doubted the fact that she could ever be truly scary. "Okay, well, I'll see you around." Stepping forward Penny encircled him in a hug, smiling as she held him for just a second longer than she normally would have.

That extra second didn't go unnoticed though, and Leonard took that time to relish in the feeling of her arms around him, her body pressed against his. Only managing to take in a brief smell of her apple shampoo before she pulled away.

"Bye, Leonard." She said, giving him another smile as she walked past him to head down the stairs, a bounce in her step that hadn't been there this morning and a weight off her shoulders.

"Bye, Penny." He called after her, waiting until she had turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs before heading back inside with a huge grin on his face.

"Well?" Howard asked, sitting up eagerly in his seat. "What happened?"

"She apologised." He said with a shrug of one shoulder and then his wide smile grew a little smug, "And then she hugged me."

"She hugged you?" A jealous Raj exclaimed.

"You lucky bastard." Howard muttered, shaking his head, "How was it?"

"I bet she smelled magnificent. Like jasmine and coconuts."

"Apple and vanilla actually." Heading back over to his seat, he struggled to wipe the smile off his face. The memory of her scent bringing him instantly back to that moment only a few minutes ago. He didn't quite know what it was that girl had done to him. He had seen many pretty girls in his lifetime but for some reason this one had much more of an effect on him than the rest. It wasn't just attraction, he genuinely liked her too. She was everything he had thought she was when he had first laid eyes on her in that restaurant. Funny, sweet, bubbly and kind. Maybe he didn't exactly know what it was that had bothered her. It _was_ possible that she was already engaged to someone else and it probably _was_ unlikely that even if she wasn't that she would want to date someone like him, but that didn't mean he couldn't be her friend. Her personality was addictive and he wanted to have her around, even if that meant watching her be with this possible fiancé of hers, or any other men she decided to date in the future.

And maybe someday he would get to be one of those guys.


	6. Just a Very Pretty Friend

**Just a Very Pretty Friend**

After knocking a few times in quick succession, Penny opened the door to 4a and popped her head inside. "Sheldon, is Leonard around?"

"Bathroom." Sheldon replied without taking his eyes away from his laptop screen, his fingers still typing away as if she hadn't just walked in. "And by the way," he continued, "If you are not going to follow up the social protocol of knocking on someone's door by waiting patiently for someone on the other side to open the door or ask you to enter," peeling his eyes away from the screen, Sheldon turned to Penny, "then what, may I ask, is the point in knocking at all?"

"I did wait," she shrugged, "I just didn't wait _long_." Walking inside and closing the door behind her, Penny headed over to sit on the sofa as Sheldon shook his head and turned back to his laptop.

This had become a regular occurrence these days. In the days, weeks and months since Penny had been properly introduced to her neighbours, she had found herself becoming ever more comfortable with them, to the point where her pretty much walking into their apartment was almost normality. Leonard in particular was the one that she had found that comfort with, but she couldn't deny the bond she was beginning to form with the rest of them too. While Sheldon still utterly baffled her at times with his confusing rants on the simplest of subjects, his incessant need to organise the world around him and his other general oddities, there was an innocence about him, a naivety that made her warm to him despite his cold exterior. She had even come to like Howard and Raj too over time, even though Howard would still hit on her almost every time they met and Raj couldn't speak to her without being half bombed.

They were an odd group, but they were sweet, good hearted people and though she never would have imagined that at some point in her life she would be friends with a bunch of guys like these, she was glad that she was. They may not have been aware of it, in fact she was certain that they weren't, but they had made one of the toughest times in her life just that little bit easier. In the short time that she had known them she had found herself slowly coming out of her grief stricken shell. Being able to leave her apartment to head next door, knowing that they would welcome her in even if she had no real reason to be there, had been a relief. On the odd day when she wasn't working, had no laundry, grocery shopping or acting classes to keep her busy, when she had nothing to do but hang around her home and inevitably think and think too much over everything that had happened, being able to go across the hall and sit with the quirky group of nerds had been her much needed escape.

Without question Leonard would welcome her in, invite her to eat with them or to play their nerdy games, and she would, even though she never really understood them. In the time she spent there Leonard would make her laugh, Howard would make her cringe and Sheldon would confuse the hell out of her whilst a shy Raj sat quietly on the floor. The fact that they knew nothing of what she had been through had definitely helped. They didn't tiptoe around her like her family and friends had done at home, and it was something she loved because that allowed her to become herself again, even for a short while. For the time in which she was with them she felt herself revert back to her old self. Her confidence would grow and she would talk and make jokes like she was the carefree girl of her past. For that short time she would forget all the pain she felt and was normal again, if only for a while.

And it wasn't just that that they had helped her with. After getting a peek into her apartment one day as she headed to work and he left for the comic book store with Leonard, Sheldon had insisted that she organise her apartment. An insistence that she had ignored for a while; for as long as she could until his badgering her became too much and she caved, allowing him and Leonard into her apartment to help unpack the rest of the stuff she still hadn't touched.

Seeing her apartment so clean and organised had spurred her on to redecorate, to make her first apartment look the way she had imagined it always would. Several trips to the DIY store and even more to various home improvement stores later and the place became almost unrecognisable. The brightly coloured sofa was decorated with some colourful cushions, fresh new drapes hung from her windows and the walls in both the main part of the apartment and her bedroom were re-painted and covered with pictures of her friends and family and cheap-but-fun pieces of art. She bought new shelving units that the guys insisted on helping her set up even though she really didn't need it, and filled them with the few books she owned, as well as DVDs, CDs and other bits and bobs that she couldn't find a place for anywhere else. New bed sheets were meticulously chosen out, ensuring that they went with the overall theme of her apartment. A couple of stools for her kitchen counter were also purchased, various appliances and a fresh set of plates, bowls and cutlery. A few plants here and there, a couple of magazines spread out on her coffee table and a collage of photographs stuck on to her fridge and she was finally happy with how the place looked.

Of course certain mementos and photographs were kept hidden, something that the guys didn't notice, or if they did they never mentioned, but something that was blindingly obvious to her. Having those pictures of her loved ones hung on her fridge and in her room but not having him in them was difficult. It almost made her feel guilty because to her it looked like she was refusing to acknowledge his existence in her life, but that was a part of her that she still wanted to keep relatively private. Preferring to keep a few loose pictures in her bedside table to look at when she felt the need, than to have him out in the open for everyone to see - for everyone to question.

Despite this though, and the fact that she was pretty much broke because of it, she now adored her new apartment in the way she always pictured she would. And it was those guys across the hall that had helped her achieve that.

Work had gotten better over time too. Though she still didn't particularly _enjoy_ working at the Cheesecake Factory, she had found certain aspects of it that she liked. Working the bar, for instance, was never quite as testing as waitressing and she much preferred it. It was a lot more sociable and that was an aspect she particularly enjoyed. When it was quiet she could spend most of her time chatting to her co-workers or her friends from acting class that would sometimes drop in to visit her. She even found herself harmlessly flirting from time to time with a few of the customers, something she _never_ thought she would do. It was considerably easier too - working at the bar. Alcohol was most definitely no stranger to her and it helped that, for the most part, she already knew how to mix the drinks correctly.

Her acting career, however, definitely wasn't taking off as she thought it would. Despite the fact that she had gone to every audition her agent had given her way - and had done pretty well in her opinion - she was yet to hear back from a single one of them. It was disheartening, but both her agent, Linda, and acting teacher, Alison, had urged her not to give up. Reassuring her that she wasn't a bad actress as she was beginning to think, and just because she hadn't found success in her auditions yet, didn't mean she never would. Hollywood wasn't exactly a small place, and she was only one of many aspiring actors trying to find their big break.

And it was one of those auditions that had brought her here, to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, today. A few days ago Linda had informed her that auditions were being held for an upcoming production in one of her local theatres, and it was a part she really wanted to get. She didn't know much of the play she was auditioning for, other than it was called 'Look Back in Anger' and was a lot more serious than anything she had ever been involved in before. But this, coupled with the fact that it was a stage production rather than a commercial like much of her auditions lately had been for, only heightened her desire to be chosen to play either one of the female leads in the story. After all, it was when she had been acting on stage as a child in front of a hall filled with parents and loved ones that she had fell in love with the art in the first place.

And so, fed up of rejection and desperate to achieve something to show for the time she had been here, she was determined to do well in the audition being held the next day. A determination that had brought about more nerves and self doubt than she had anticipated. She had spent much of the previous two days memorising the monologue she and Alison had chosen for her to perform and was desperate to show it off, just to make sure it was okay. Alison, naturally, had been the person she had shown first at her class the previous evening, and although she had been full of praise for her, she still wanted a second opinion, and the person she wanted that from was Leonard.

"Oh, hey, Penny." Leonard said, smiling as he walked from the bathroom, down the hall. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she grinned, "I was just wondering if I could borrow you for a few minutes. I kinda want your opinion on something. If that's okay?"

"Of course. What is it?"

As Leonard reached the coffee table, Penny stood up, clutching a piece of paper in her hand and taking a deep breath. Just as she was about to speak though, a loud huff was heard, and they both turned curiously to Sheldon, frowning at him as he got his headphones out from his drawer, turned to them with a killer look before putting them on quite dramatically and returning to his game.

"O-kay." Penny drug out the word as she slowly turned her attention from him to Leonard, who was rolling his eyes at his friends behaviour. She raised her brows, "Anyway, " she smiled again, "I have this audition tomorrow and I really, _really _want it to go well so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind just listening to this monologue I've memorised for it and telling me what you think."

"Me?" He asked, a little shocked that of all the people she knew, she would ask _him_ to do such a thing for her.

"Yeah."

"But… I don't know anything about acting." He said and then quickly added, "I mean, I'm flattered that you would ask me, but I really wouldn't know what to look for or what to say. I don't think I'm really the right person for this."

"Don't be silly! Of course you're the right person! You watch a whole lot of movies and television don't you?" She asked and he nodded, "and you can tell whether the actors in it are believable or not – even if you continue to watch it like that Babylon 5 crap."

"Hey!"

"What?" She held up her hands innocently and quietly laughed as she dropped them again, "I'm sorry, but it is. It makes no sense and it's just stupid." Penny smiled at Leonard's mildly hurt expression, "Look, you don't have to know a whole lot about acting to know if it's good or not, sweetie. I'm not expecting you to give me some longwinded critique of what I'm going to read to you. I already showed it to my acting teacher and she done all that part. I'd just like to get your opinion on it, that's all."

"Alright..." He muttered, still a little dubious, but giving her a smile regardless, "I suppose I can do that." It really was quite flattering to know that she valued his opinion that much. Enough to chose him to show this to over all the people she could have chosen. "And for your information, Babylon 5 _does_ make sense and is far from stupid. Something you would know if you had taken me up on my offer to marathon the series from the beginning."

"Oh trust me sweetie, watching one episode of that is enough for one person. Now, sit down and take this." She handed him the piece of paper with a couple of typed up paragraphs on it as he sat down on his chair. "Okay, so, just watch me and then you can tell me whether you thought it was good or not, okay? And you _have _to be honest."

"Okay, I will." He nodded as he looked over the words in front of him.

"Okay." Stepping across the room to stand a few feet away from him at the far end of the coffee table, Penny took in a few deep breaths, feeling the tell tale churn of nerves in her stomach. Nerves that hadn't been there when she had performed this exact piece for her acting teacher the evening before. Nerves that were only really there because this was the first time Leonard had ever gotten to see her do something like this, and she really wanted to impress him for reasons that she just wasn't all too sure of. She hadn't even told her parents of the audition yet and didn't have this same desire for Sheldon or any of the other guys to see and approve of her piece. She didn't particularly want to show it off to any of the friends she had made in the Cheesecake Factory either – just him. It didn't make much sense, but then again it did. He was probably the one she had grown closest to throughout her time here. For whatever reason he was the one, out of everyone she had met and become friends with, that she felt most at ease around and so he was the one who's opinion meant the most to her.

Closing her eyes, Penny inhaled once more, taking those few seconds to forget the world around her and focus her mind on the piece she had memorized.

When she opened her eyes and spoke, reading out the words that he had in his hand, it was like a different person was standing before him – though he supposed that was the whole point. He listened intently to her, but somehow managed to hear none of what she said. The sheet in his hand becoming completely pointless because he had no idea if what she was saying matched the paragraph he held.

But he watched her, took in every detail of her movement. Watched her lips as they glided over the words she spoke with such feeling, her hands as they moved to give emphasis to whatever it was she was saying. He watched her eyes, speaking what her lips didn't. Pulling on his heartstrings when he saw the glint of tears rimming her eyes, and he was drawn in. Whatever story it was she was telling, he believed it without hearing a word of it. Whether that was down to her skills as an actress or his growing fondness for her he couldn't really be sure. But in those few minutes she mesmerized him. The world could have fallen apart around him and he wouldn't have noticed. Wouldn't have cared.

"Well?" Penny raised her brows expectantly, biting down on her inner lip as she anticipated his reaction to what she had just read to him. "What did you think?"

If it hadn't been for her addressing him he wouldn't have even realised she had finished.

"Oh, um…" He shook his head out of its temporary trance and glanced down at the paper as he tried to pull his thoughts together enough to give her some feedback.

Her face and shoulders fell instantly at his hesitation. "You don't like it."

"What? No, no, I did like it!" He replied in a hurry.

"No you didn't I can tell." She walked over to the sofa and slumped down with a groan. "I'm gonna blow this audition."

"No. No, I did like it." He insisted, feeling bad that his moment of uncertainty over what to say had made her doubt herself. Standing up from his chair, he moved to sit on top of the coffee table opposite her. "I really did like it, Penny. I just needed a minute back then to… to think of what I was going to say. You were good." He smiled, wondering for a second if he should put a reassuring hand on her knee but quickly deciding against it. "You were really good."

"Yeah?" She sat up a little, a slight frown of doubt on her face, "You really think so?"

"I do." He nodded, "I mean, like I said, I don't really know much about acting, but I do know that what you just did there was incredible. You really sucked me in…" He paused for a moment to look at her, "If they don't pick you for this part they're crazy."

Alison had said pretty much the same thing to her, but for some reason it meant just that little bit more coming from him. A grin broke out on her face, her eyes sparkling again as she lunged forward to trap him in a quick hug before standing up. "Thank you! _Oh my god_ this is so exciting!" She beamed, clapping her hands and doing a small jump on the spot, her excitement becoming too much to contain. "You really think they'll like it?" She asked one more time, just to make sure.

"I don't see why not." He stood up with her, chuckling when his words provoked a short high-pitched squeal from her and continuing to smile at the adorable excitement on her face.

"Oh! I better go decide what I'm going to wear! I should really find something kinda grown up and professional right? Since this is a pretty serious play and I do _want_ them to take me seriously…" She looked off in thought for a second, before making a face, "mmh, but then again I don't wanna look really dull and boring cause that's just no fun." She sighed, "I dunno, I guess I'll just need to pull out my closet and try stuff on."

"Sounds… fun?"

"I know right!" She squealed again, as she made her way back over to the front door. "_So_ fun! Okay I'll go now. There's a _lot _of clothes to look through."

"I'm sure there is." He nodded and laughed, "here, do you want this back?" He held out the sheet of paper in front of him.

"Nope!" She reached for the door and opened it a little, "Don't need it. Thank you again, Leonard." With one hand still on the doorknob, Penny threw her other arm around his neck, tip-toeing just a little as she held him, before placing a quick kiss on his cheek and pulling away, still leaving on hand on his shoulder. "You're the best."

"Anytime." Leonard shrugged, feeling his cheeks flushing just a little over the fact that she had just placed her soft lips on his cheek.

Penny grinned at his shyness. It was something she still wasn't really used to, but found quite cute at the same time. After lightly squeezing his shoulder she dropped her hand and looked off behind him, "See ya Sheldon!" She called out, shrugging when she received no reply from the man engrossed in his game. Or pretending to be engrossed in his game in an effort to avoid human interaction. "Bye, Leonard."

"Bye, Penny. Good luck tomorrow." He said as she stepped out into the hallway and over to her apartment. "Let me know how you get on."

"Thank you! I will." Beaming her smile at him one last time, Penny entered her apartment, leaving Leonard staring dreamily at her door for a few more seconds.

"Oh, Lord. It's happening isn't it?"

"Huh?" Leonard looked in Sheldon's direction. "What's happening?"

"You are becoming infatuated with this girl." Sheldon replied without moving his gaze from his computer screen. "Before long you will be claiming to be 'in love' and I'll have to tolerate months of sappy love songs whilst you attempt to form some kind of carnal relationship with our neighbour."

"I'm not going to try anything, Sheldon." Leonard frowned as he closed the door, "And I am not infatuated with her. She's just a neighbour. Who happens to be a friend. Who also happens to be very pretty. She's just a very pretty friend."

"Alright. If that is what you claim to be true then so be it. But when she does, inevitably, develop a relationship with another male, please try to keep your heart broken wails of despair to a minimum."

"You're such a good friend, you know that?"

Sheldon paused his game and turned to Leonard with a small smile, not catching the sarcasm he had spoken with. "I try."


	7. Do It For The Clothes

**Just wanna put in a quick thanks to everyone following and reviewing this story! Its good to know you are all enjoying it so keep them coming they make me happy! This chapter wasn't supposed to happen to be honest but once i started writing it i couldn't stop and before i knew it it was a chapter all in itself! Hope you all enjoy it! :)**

**Do It For The Clothes**

"Leonard!" Penny exclaimed, grinning as she saw him walk through the entrance of their apartment building. Briefly turning back to the mailboxes, she grabbed the mail out of her own one before locking it and walking over to him with a little skip in her step. "I was just going to come up and see you. Where were you?" She asked. Realising that since it was after six, it was much later than the usual time he would get home from the University, and the fact that he wasn't with Sheldon told her he hadn't just come from the comic book store either.

Leonard couldn't help but smile at how chirpy she was. He had no idea what she was so happy about, but it was contagious. "I stayed a little later at work to finish off a couple of experiments so I don't have it to do tomorrow." He said as they both stepped up the first few steps.

"Ah. Fair enough" She nodded as she glanced down at the letters in her hand and upon deciding they were all just junk, stuffed them into her purse.

"So what did you want to see me for?"

"Oh! Yeah, so, you remember I had an audition for that play last week?"

"Yeah, the one you showed me?"

"Yup, that's the one! Well, I got a call back for it a couple of days ago and earlier on today the director called me and guess what?"

"What?" He already had a pretty good idea of where this was going due to how excited she was, but he figured he would play along anyway.

"I got it!" She beamed, "I'm in the play! I am now officially a working actress."

"That's great!" He grinned at her. Tempted to hug her in congratulations but still not confident to pull off such a move as she so effortlessly did.

"I know! I couldn't believe it! He called _so_ early, it was like, half _nine_, and obviously I was still in bed so when he was telling me this a little part of me was sure it was a dream. But it wasn't! I _actually _got it. I'm the lead too, Leonard! The lead! I'm gonna be on that stage a _lot_!"

Leonard chuckled, "I'm not surprised. That piece you showed me was amazing. I never doubted you would get it."

"Aww," Penny cooed, touching his arm as she turned to him, "that's so sweet."

His cheeks flushed red, "So, uh, when do you begin rehearsals and stuff?"

"Next week. I can't wait to start working on it. I know it's just a small theatre and stuff so its not really a big deal but it's been so long since I've had the chance to do any of that kinda stuff y'know? So it just makes it _so_ much more exciting!"

"What are you talking about of course it's a big deal! Who cares if it's just a little theatre, you don't know who could be out in that audience. And even if there is no one important there it's still one more thing to add to your resume."

Penny thought that over for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, that's true." She turned to look at him, "Will you come and see me when it starts?"

His heart skipped a beat at her request. It probably didn't mean anything, it was just a friend asking a friend to come and see her play, but the fact that she was only enquiring about whether he would come and see her, and not the rest of his group of friends, made him feel just a little special. "Um, do you want me to come and see you?"

"Yeah."

"Well then yeah, of course I'll be there."

"Awesome."

He expected her then to tell him to ask the rest of them to come too, but she didn't. Maybe she wanted to invite them herself, he thought, or maybe she was only really bothered about whether he went or not and not the others.

"I can't wait to tell my parents!" She continued enthusiastically. "I've been waiting for this moment since I arrived here to tell them that I was actually getting somewhere!"

"You haven't told them yet?"

"Nope." She turned to smile at him as they stepped up on to their floor. "You're the first one to know."

"Oh." He gave her a small smile back as his stomach filled with butterflies. It could have just been that he was the first person she saw and that him being the first one to hear this news wasn't intentional and just happened by chance, but he liked to think otherwise. After all, she could have called her friends and family to tell them as soon as she had found out. And earlier on she _had _said that she was just about to go up and see him, so she was obviously seeking him out to tell him instead of waiting until they bumped into one another. "Well, have fun… telling them."

"I will, thanks." Pulling her purse from her shoulder she rummaged inside to find her key as she walked towards her door.

"And uh, we're just about to order some food. So, if you want we can order a little extra and you can eat with us. After you're finished talking with your parents. If you want."

"Yeah, sure, sounds great!"

"Cool." He grinned as he reached inside his pocket for his key. It still surprised him every time she accepted an offer to come over to his apartment to eat, even though she had accepted such an offer many times. "I'll see you later then."

"Yup! Text me when it's here and I'll come over."

"What will I get you?"

Penny shrugged as she opened her door, "Whatever. You know what I like – surprise me."

* * *

Folding her legs up beside her on the couch, Penny sat with her laptop resting on her lap as she waited on her parents to answer the Skype call on the other end, nibbling on a packet of chips and glancing over at the television playing in the background as the ring tone sounded.

She had to admit these calls hadn't been quite so frequent lately. In the first few months of her living in Pasadena her parents had either called - or insist she call - at least once a week. They always claimed it was 'just to chat and catch up' but she knew it was simply their way of checking up on her and making sure she was okay. She didn't particularly mind though, it was always nice to hear from home. No matter how much she was enjoying living in the sunshine of California, she still missed the familiarity of back home and it was nice to get a little slice of that back every now and again.

In recent weeks however these calls had simmered down, she assumed because her parents were finally seeing that she wasn't as unhappy as she had been when she had first arrived. They had probably taken note of the changes in her décor, and the changes in her as well. She knew in herself that she had become much happier, once again beginning to focus on the positives of her life than the negatives, and that in turn had taken away some of that need to call home every week, unless there was a specific reason to. She was settled, and although she wasn't entirely back to herself and still had days where she craved the presence of the man she still loved but couldn't have, she was happier and more content now than she had been in a long time.

"Hey."

"Hello, sweetie."

Her parent's voices broke her attention away from the television, which she quickly muted as she sat up a little, grinning into the screen. "Hey, mom. Hey, dad."

"This is a pleasant surprise." Her mother, beamed, "We weren't expecting to hear from you today."

Patricia – often shortened to Patti by those closest to her – was almost the spitting image of her daughter. Though her long blonde hair had become increasingly dull over the years, was often messily tied back as it had to be for when she tended to the farm and horses, and her face was beginning to crease with the inevitable wrinkles that growing older brought, whenever she dressed herself up, be it for a family party or an evening out for dinner, it was quite common for her to be mistaken for Penny's older – slightly wider – sister. The bright green eyes, the dazzling smile and rounded face that Penny sported had all, quite obviously, come from her mother.

"Yeah, usually we don't hear from you twice in one week." Wyatt said as she shifted a little closer to his wife to make sure he could be seen.

"That's true. Is something wrong?"

Penny shook her head, "No, everything's fine, mom."

"You sure?" Patricia asked, her brow crinkling with concern.

"What? Yes, I'm sure. Can't I just call without there being something wrong?"

"Yes, you can. But you don't." Wyatt interjected, "Not twice in one week."

Patricia nodded along with Wyatt's words, "That's right, the last time this happened it was because you wanted to know how long you'd have to wait for your pasta to be ready because you'd already waited 25 minutes and nothing was happening."

"Oh my God you're never going to let me live that down are you? It's not my fault the instructions on the pack didn't include switching on the oven!"

"Usually that's not something that has to be instructed, sweetie. It's just common sense."

"Ugh," she scoffed, "okay, whatever, that's not the reason I called. I actually have some good news."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She smiled, instantly perking up, "I had an audition for the part in a play last week and I found out earlier on today that I got it!" She exclaimed, unable to hold back a little squeal of excitement.

"Oh my God!" Patricia echoed her daughters squeal, "That's amazing!"

"Oh, Penny, that's great news. Well done." Wyatt congratulated, though in a much calmer manner than his wife.

"What play is it? What part did you get? When is it? Oh, this is so exciting!"

After a moment of laughing at her mom's reaction, Penny told them everything they wanted to know about the part she had been chosen for, the character she would be playing and when she would be beginning rehearsals.

"It's only in the local theatre, so, it's nothing huge." She shrugged, "But I'm so excited to be on stage again. It feels like it's been _so _long."

"Well we're proud of you for getting it, honey." Wyatt smiled, "You'll be great."

"And who cares if it's just the local theatre," her mom eagerly added, "you don't know who might be there watching. This could lead to another part, and then another."

"Yeah," Penny agreed and lightly laughed, "that's what Leonard said earlier."

Her parents instantly turned to each other and smiled before looking back at her. "Leonard, huh?" Her mother said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Leonard." She frowned a little, not quite understanding why she was using that tone with that little smirk curling on her lips.

"You bring this Leonard up quite a bit you know."

"I do?"

"You do." Wyatt affirmed. "He's your neighbour, right?"

"Yeah."

"The super smart one that lives with a crazy person?"

"Well he's not_ actually_ crazy, but yeah."

"The one that helped you redecorate your apartment?"

"And took you to work that one time because you forgot to put gas in your car?" Patricia added.

"And regularly invites you over to eat with him and his friends?"

"I told you all of that?"

"Yeah." Her parents replied in unison.

"Oh. Well, yeah. That's him."

"And is that _all _he is? _Just_ your neighbour."

Penny's frown deepened, "What? Yes, mom, that's _all _he is."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" She exclaimed, becoming more than a little defensive, not really understanding why they were so focused on Leonard and acting the way they were.

"Why did your voice getting all high and squeaky then?"

"What?! It's not high and squeaky!" She protested, although instantly realised after saying it that it was and cleared her throat. "It's not." She said in a deliberately much lower tone than before.

Patricia rolled her eyes, "Sweetie, you know its okay, right?"

"What's okay?"

"For you to make new friends. _Boy_ friends."

"Oh my god, _mom_," she moaned as it hit her why they were acting this way. "That's _not_ what this is. He's just a friend!"

"A friend that you seem to bring up a lot more often than your other friends."

"Dad, it's not like that, okay? The only reason I maybe bring him up a little more often – which I don't, by the way – is because he lives right across the hall from me."

"Okay, okay, we believe you, sweetie." Though even Penny knew by her mom's tone of her voice that she didn't, "I'm just saying that it's okay for you to move on and start dating again. You're a woman. You have needs."

"Oh. My. God." Penny closed her eyes, blushing a little as she put her hand up to cover her face and sunk down into the couch.

"What? It's true. I mean come on, when was the last time you… _were with_, someone?"

"This is probably my cue to go and make some tea." Wyatt muttered as he stood up, "Pattie, call me over when you are finished talking about… girl things, so I can say goodbye."

"Mom, I _really_ don't wanna have this conversation." Penny squirmed, but her mother stayed quiet on the other end, awaiting an answer, while her dad left the awkwardness of the conversation to go to the kitchen, just as she wished she could do right now too. It was times like this when she wished she and her mother weren't as alike as they were. Wishing that she wasn't quite as forward and maybe just a little more prudish – something she had been wishing for since her teenage years. "I haven't been _with_ anyone since… well, you know." She replied as soon as her dad was out of earshot.

"Really? Oh, baby, that was well over _six months_ ago. Look, I understand that it's difficult, but you gotta get yourself out there again. Have you even _been_ out lately?"

"What, like, to a club or something?"

"Yes. Or just to a girlfriends house for some wine or whatever to blow off some steam."

"Um, no… It's not like I haven't been invited, a few of the girls from the Cheesecake Factory invited me out last week but I didn't go."

Sighing, Patricia shook her head, "Why not? Honey, you're too young to be sitting at home. If what happened has taught you anything it should be that you have to live life to the fullest while you can…. And over six months is a long time to go without-"

"Yeah I know, mom," Penny cut in, "I just… I haven't felt like it, okay? I don't even _want_ to be with anyone right now. The thought of it still seems kind of… wrong." She sighed, "But, anyway, I still don't see what any of this has to do with Leonard. There's nothing going on between us."

"Why not?"

"What do you mean why not? Just because he's a guy doesn't mean there has to be something going on. Like I said, he's just a friend."

"So, you're not attracted to him then?"

"Well, no. I mean, I dunno, he's cute. In his own funny little way." Her lips curled into a smile that she didn't even acknowledge but that her mother didn't miss. "His hair is really curly and that's kinda adorable, and his dorky glasses are pretty cute. There's nothing _wrong _with him, he's just not my usual type so I've never really thought of him like that."

"Have you thought of _anyone_ like that?"

"Well… no." She mumbled, her voice becoming low and sombre as she looked down at her hands. "I already told you I'm not ready for that."

"No you only _think_ you aren't ready. If you aren't putting yourself out there a little and opening yourself up to these kinds of relationships then how can you really know if you are ready for it or not?"

"Mom why are you pushing this?!" Penny snapped, becoming obviously irritated. "I told you, I'm not ready."

"And I'm telling you that you can't shut yourself off to all men." Patricia retaliated, refusing to back down, "I know what happened to you was tragic and I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that, but sweetie, you _have_ to move on. You can't stay a celibate spinster your whole life because the man you thought you were going to spend your life with isn't around anymore. It's been months Penny and I can see you're still wearing your ring. Tell me, does this Leonard – or anyone for that matter – know about him and what happened?"

"No." Penny quietly replied, instantly moving her right hand to her ring. "No one's really asked. I've just sorta avoided the question. There was this one time Sheldon brought it up but I kinda freaked out and it hasn't been brought up since."

"Don't you think that maybe you ought to tell them? If for no other reason than to give you someone to talk to about it, if you need to?"

Penny's only reply was a shrug, looking down at her hands.

"Your friends are probably wondering what's going on, Penny." Patricia continued, her tone much softer. "You should tell them. And then you should take _that_ off." At this, Penny shot her head up to her mom, her eyes wide in defiance. "Sweetie, you have to do it. He would have wanted you to do it, to move on and be happy with someone else and you can't do that with that ring on your finger."

Seconds of thoughtful silence passed before Penny responded with a simple and sad, "It's not that easy, mom."

"I know, Penny, I know." Patricia soothed, "But you have to try. You've already come so far. Talk to people about it. Let them in, even just a little. Stop thinking of yourself as someone's fiancé and start opening yourself up to relationships again. And I'm not saying you have to jump into one right away, just… start _looking_." She grinned, "Have some fun for a while. You deserve it."

She sighed, beginning to see her mother's point. While she had opened herself up a lot more in recent weeks she still hadn't really gone out and properly enjoyed herself, and there was no reason not to really. The only thing she had done instead was sit in and watch an endless supply of sitcoms and reality television. Though she felt like she had come a long way – and she had in some ways – it was beginning to dawn on her how far she still had to go. "Okay." She nodded, shifting so she was sitting up a little better. "You're right. I'll stop sitting at home so much and get out. Happy?"

"I'm not saying this to make _me _happy, sweetie. I'm saying it because I want you to be happy. And I can see you're getting there and you don't know how proud I am of you for that, but you have to keep going forward."

Their conversation was interrupted by her phone buzzing as a text arrived. She didn't have to look to know it was from Leonard, but she did anyway, smiling at the very simple but sweet, '_The food is on its way. We got Chinese, I made sure to order you some fortune cookies. Come over when you're ready. :)_'

"Leonard?" Patricia asked, noticing the smile Penny read her text with and linking it to one she had seen many times when she had received texts from boys over the years.

"Yeah. He ordered food and it's on its way so I should probably go."

"Okay, but remember what I told you. If you and Leonard are as close as I think you are then he is probably wondering what is going on with you, and if you don't tell anyone else, at least tell him. You need someone to talk to, and from what we've heard he seems like a nice guy. The kind of guy you _could_ talk to."

"He is."

"Good. Now stop being so secretive and open yourself up. You never know what might come of it." She smiled, "And get yourself back out there again. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be sitting at home every night! Go out, have some fun! You have too many nice outfits in that closet of yours. They deserve to see the light of day!"

"Okay," she laughed, "I will."

"Good. But be careful," she added, her motherly instinct showing, "don't be letting those guys out there ride the rollercoaster for free. Lord knows I done that enough times in my life and trust me, no matter how hot they are it is never worth it."

Penny squirmed, "Ew, mom, stop."

Patricia laughed at her daughter's disgust. One of the benefits of being a parent definitely had to be the ability to gross them out with the simplest of things. "Wyatt!" She called behind her, "Come back here, Penny's going now."

Wyatt returned to the screen a few moments later and they said their goodbye's, promising to call and talk again soon. As soon as they were gone Penny shut down the lid of her laptop, relieved that the whole conversation was over and more than a little surprised at how it had gone.

The sound of her stomach grumbling however, took her thoughts away from that and on to the dinner that would soon be arriving across the hall. Grinning, she picked up her phone and tapped out a quick reply to Leonard that read, '_Good timing I just finished talking with mom and dad! Yay! I love fortune cookies! I'll be over in five! :)_' After hitting send she popped her phone into her jeans pocket and walked to her bedroom to get changed. Opening her closet she glanced over the abundance of nice dresses and top and shoes that she owned, all of which hadn't been worn in a long time. Her mom was definitely right, she had to get out more. Those clothes were too pretty to be left in a closet gathering dust. If she wasn't going to do it for herself, she had to at _least_ do it for them.


	8. Reading Lines

**Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I wish I had a good excuse for it but i really dont. I'm just reaaaally slow these days! :P**

* * *

**Reading Lines**

"I don't think I can do this." Leonard muttered as he frowned uncertainly down at the stapled together sheets of paper Penny had just given him.

"What are you talking about? Of course you can do it - it's easy!" Kicking the fridge door shut behind her, Penny walked over to the living area and placed the two bottles of water she had gotten for them on the coffee table. "Look, you don't have to be particularly _good_ at it or anything," picking up her copy of her script, Penny sat down beside Leonard, turning her body towards him and folding her left leg under her right, "all you really have to do is say the words so that I can work on the timing and delivery of my lines. That's it." Penny shrugged as if it were nothing, but Leonard still had his eyes on the paper in front of him, his eyebrows still furrowed together with doubt. "I think it would really help." She continued, sensing that he wasn't quite convinced yet, "I wouldn't normally ask, but I'm kinda nervous about this one because it's the first play I've been in in _so_ long and it's a _lot _more serious than anything I've ever done before and I really, _really_ wanna get it right... So, will you help me? It's only this one scene I want you to go over with me. Please?"

At this simple, pleading word, he met his eyes with hers, his frown softening as his lips curled into a small smile. "Alright." He nodded, "If it'll help."

"Yay! Thank you so much! I owe you big time!" With an elated grin Penny then flipped through her script to find the page she wanted.

Leonard chuckled at her enthusiasm, but only for a second before looking dubiously back at his own copy, wondering momentarily if there would ever be a time when he would be able to deny her anything. He figured probably not. She was too pretty and too sweet to say no to. There were definitely a whole lot of hoops he would happily jump through if it meant he could get even a little closer to her.

He was still unsure about _this_ though, considering he had never done anything like it before. Well, except maybe when he and the guys would play out scenes from their favourite movies or television shows in the park or in their apartments, but he figured that didn't really count because those scenes were already committed to memory, he didn't need to read from a script to act out those. They were a lot more fun too. Usually lightsabers, replica swords or guns and costumes were involved – all of which he was positive wouldn't be included in this.

This was for Penny though, he thought, glancing over at her as she tucked a few strands of her hair behind one ear, her lip tucked lightly beneath her teeth while she studied the page in front of her. And getting to spend time with her was _definitely_ fun. "So, uh," he said, clearing his throat, realising that it was probably a good idea to stop staring at her before she caught him, "what page are we starting on?"

"Umm…" She hummed as she quickly flicked through the pages, "this one! Page 6. You have to say the lines for Cliff, okay? Just read what he says and ignore all the stuff in italics that's just like stage directions and stuff – we don't need that right now."

"Right, okay." He nodded, turning to the page she requested and quickly skimming his eyes over the few pages of dialogue. "So, this Cliff, is he your characters husband," he looked over at her, "or boyfriend?"

"No."

"Oh." Frowning, he quickly looked over the script again, "But it says here that he's massaging her neck… calling her 'lovely'," he flipped the page, "kissing her…" It was then that he felt something that he had felt quite a bit of lately. A sharp stab at his chest and a wrench in his gut, the kind that would show itself any time he would see her laughing and flirting with any other man, usually when she worked the bar at the Cheesecake Factory. The thought of her kissing someone else – even if it wasn't _technically_ real – made him feel a sick with jealousy.

"Yeah – he does. But he's not her boyfriend. Alison – my character – she already has a husband. Cliff is their friend who shares an apartment with them, and they kind of have a bit of a thing going on. Like, in this scene, Alison has hurt her arm because her husband – Jimmy – had just been in a bit of a fight with Cliff. So she tells him to get lost and Cliff is like, looking after her and they are talking and stuff and she ends up telling him she's pregnant with Jimmy's baby."

"Okay… so it's like a love triangle?"

"Kinda," she replied, scrunching up her face, "but kinda not. They don't really _do_ anything, except from that little kiss at the end of the scene, but they're close."

"Right." He nodded again, though he was admittedly a little confused. "So, I just have to say the lines? Because you know… if it would help you prepare I'd be happy to act all of this stuff out." He motioned to the piece of paper in front of him. "I could pretend to tend to your sore arm... and I could do the massage and the uh," he cleared his throat as it became suddenly dry, "the kiss and stuff... If it would help." He quickly added, his heart beginning to race as he wished he sounded as smooth out loud as he did in his head. "I wouldn't mind."

After a short, throaty laugh she replied, "Nice try Hofstadter, but I think we'll just stick to the dialogue…" She arched one brow and threw him a flirty look, "for now."

For now? What did she mean by that? A mixture of delight and panic rose inside him as he desperately tried to decide whether she was joking or not and what he would say next if she wasn't.

Spotting the flash of panic in his eyes, Penny laughed again. He really wasn't very good at the whole flirting thing. It was quite cute really. "Relax sweetie, I'm joking. Now come on, let's do this, you have the first line."

A couple of hours later and they were no longer on the sofa. Instead they occupied the empty space between her coffee table and front door, and while he was still reading every line he had off the page, Penny had completely abandoned her copy of the script. Leaving it on the coffee table and only taking quick looks at his whenever she struggled with a line – which he had to admit wasn't very often.

It surprised him how easily she picked it up, probably more than it should have. It seemed to come so naturally to her as she took each line in her stride, barely missed a beat. There were, of course, moments when she had become frustrated with herself, when she would repeatedly forget one or two lines and become a little irritated. But it didn't happen often, and after a short break to cool down and refresh, she usually got herself back on track.

It had been quite fascinating to watch her in her element, and much like when she had practiced her audition for him, there had been moments where she mesmerized him. But as time went on those moments became much less frequent, and while he still enjoyed being with her and helping her, he was beginning to lose interest. It didn't help that he knew his friends were across the hall enjoying all the fun that Vintage Videogame Night had to offer.

This didn't go unnoticed by Penny. The eagerness he had had when they first begun had certainly dwindled and she took it as a sign that he was starting to get bored. She couldn't blame him really, she had kept him here for a lot longer than she had meant to.

"Maybe we should call it a night." She said after they had run through the scene for the last time, "I think I've pretty much got it now. There's not much else we can do."

"Oh, okay." He tried to sound indifferent, but he was sure that she heard the relief he felt.

Taking his copy of her script from him, Penny sat it on the coffee table beside hers before heading over to the fridge. "Want a glass of wine?" Now that they had finished there wasn't really a reason not to, and it _was_ Friday after all.

"Uh, I dunno, wine tends to give me migraines." He instantly regretted his answer. Her invitation to drink with her was basically her asking him to stay longer, and as much as he wanted to go back home and join in with his friends playing 'Doom' on Howard's very first Playstation, there was no denying that he would much rather be here with her.

"Oh." Her shoulders dropped as she took the bottle of wine down from the top of her fridge. "That sucks."

Was that disappointment he heard in her tone? He was pretty sure it was. And even if it wasn't, the slim chance that it might have been was enough to convince him that maybe the migraine would be worth it. "Yeah… but it's okay." He waved his hand dismissively as he sat down, "One glass won't hurt."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Great!" Penny grabbed the bottle from the table and handed it over to Leonard, "Here, you open this and I'll get us glasses."

"Um, okay." He knew it was a stupid thing to worry about, but he instantly hoped that the bottle was a screw top and not cork. Not that he couldn't open corked bottles - he could - he just wasn't very good at it since he rarely drank wine, and would rather not embarrass himself by trying to.

"Here we go!" As Penny sat down, leaving the two glasses on the coffee table, Leonard poured the wine.

"Should we toast to something?" He asked as Penny picked up her glass.

"I dunno. What would we toast to?"

"I dunno," after screwing the top back on Leonard sat the bottle down and picked up his glass, "How about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you know, for getting this part and stuff."

"Aw, that's sweet." She cooed, blushing just a little, "Okay."

"Alright," he nodded, raising his glass just a little, "Here's to you, and what could be your big break."

Tilting her head to one side and smiling, Penny held her glass up level with his, "It's a part in a local theatre sweetie, I doubt it's going to be my big break… But thank you."

Grinning, they both clinked their glasses together, took a sip of wine, and as they relaxed Leonard realised that this was the first time the two of them had actually spent any real time alone together. Usually when they were together it was in the added presence of Sheldon or one of the other guys. It was almost like a date, he thought. The two of them sitting alone in her apartment, sipping wine with the warm glow that this part of the evening gave as the sun began to set on the city. It was definitely romantic, though he figured Penny didn't see it like that. To her it was probably just two friends hanging out, with no romantic element attached.

That was when another bout of panic set in. What was he going to say to her? Sheldon wasn't here to fill the silence by complaining about one thing or another, and there was no Howard to inappropriately hit on her with his sleazy jokes. It was just the two of them, and he didn't know what to say. There were plenty of things he _wanted_ to say. He still hadn't forgotten about that ring on her finger and more than anything he wanted to ask her about that. He was pretty certain by this point that she wasn't engaged since he hadn't seen any men come or go from her apartment. Though he figured she could still have a fiancé back in Nebraska, but judging by the fact she never spoke about someone like that in her life, and he couldn't see a single shred of evidence that she was in a committed relationship in her apartment, he thought it more likely that she was single.

He knew that was one thing he couldn't ask about though, not after the last time.

They were closer now though, he reasoned. He was no longer a stranger she had just met. They were friends. At least he liked to think they were. And friends talked about this sort of thing. Surely she was comfortable enough around him now to be able to tell him some of the more personal parts of her life – and even if she wasn't entirely, he figured the glass of wine might help loosen up her lips a little.

But he definitely couldn't bring that up yet. Some sort of conversation had to occur before he dived into something so personal. He just had to think of something to say. "I really like what you've done with this place." He eventually said. It was lame, but it was all he could think of. And it wasn't a lie, it definitely looked much better now than it had a few months ago. "It's very... colourful."

"Aw, thank you." Penny beamed as she sat back in the sofa, folding her legs up beside her. "I think I'm finally happy with how it looks."

"You should be. It's nice… You do have a whole lot of stuffed animals though. Those kind of freaked me out on the way to the bathroom earlier."

"They freaked you out?" She laughed, "How? They're just bears."

"I dunno. It was just a bit of a surprise when I walked in your room and they were all there on your shelf and your bed staring at me. Doesn't it bother you when you're trying to sleep and they're all looking at you?"

Penny dropped her head and laughed before looking back up at him, "It doesn't, and you wanna know why?" Penny leaned forward, and with her free hand wiggled her index finger, telling him to move forward too. "Because, sweetie," she whispered a few inches from his ear, trying to be as serious as possible, "they aren't real." Laughing again, Penny sat back, "Seriously, how can you watch all of those weird programmes with funny looking aliens and be scared of a couple of fluffy toys?"

"I'm not _scared_ of them," he said as he took a sip of wine, his cheeks now a hot tint of red, "They just freaked me out because there was so many of them."

From there the conversation easily flowed and they talked about everything from work to their preferences in music and film, and even a bit about Sheldon and his ways. Leonard told her why he made the decision to become a physicist and she in turn told him about how she had fallen in love with acting. This led to a conversation about their childhood, and Leonard warily told her of his rather cold upbringing, of his – what some would describe as heartless – mother, of his life without birthday parties or traditional Christmas's, receiving the all too familiar 'aww' in sympathy. Penny then returned the favour by telling him of hers, about her life growing up on a farm surrounded by animals, about her slightly rebellious teenage years and of her siblings and their rather colourful lives.

It actually surprised him that they had so little in common yet still managed to easily hold a conversation with each other. There were no awkward silences; at no point after those first few moments did he ever have to wonder what to say next. He assumed that was because she was so easy to talk to. Her bubbly personality making it easy to move from one topic to another. He supposed the alcohol helped too, considering she was now half way through her second glass and he had just finished his first.

"You want me to top that up for you?" She asked when she noticed his empty glass sitting on the table.

"No, that's okay. If I have much more then the migraines will start. I wouldn't mind some water though, if you have any?"

"Yeah, in the fridge, help yourself."

"Oh, okay." He said with a nod as he stood up and headed towards the fridge.

Putting one hand on the handle to open the door, he took a moment to study the few pictures that were stuck with magnets to the door. She was in all of them, posing with people he didn't recognise, looking so happy that it made him smile. Then, as his eyes fixed on one picture in specific, one where he stood at what looked to be a formal event, in a short dark blue dress and a man by her side with his arm around her, those questions that he had decided not to ask earlier came flooding back and he realised that this was probably the perfect time to bring it up. "Hey, Penny? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?" She turned her body around to face him. "What's up?"

"These people in the pictures, who are they? If you don't mind me asking." Opening the door he grabbed a bottle of water before closing it again.

"Of course I don't mind!" Penny instantly walked over to join him in the kitchen, standing close beside him just in front of her fridge, still clutching her glass of wine. "This one here," she lifted her free hand to point at the picture she was talking about, "that's me with my mom and dad last year at my sister's wedding... That's me, Katie and Suzanne on the beach when we went to Florida for the weekend, they're my best friends back in Omaha… That's my sister in front of me there on the horse…"

"And what about that one?" He pointed to the picture he had been most focused on.

"That's me and my brother at my parent's anniversary party, a few months before he went to rehab for the first time."

"Ohh," he nodded slowly, "your brother." It was strange, but he was a little disappointed. He sort of wanted it to be her fiancé, at least then he would know.

"Yeah, my brother." She said, knowing by the look on his face who he had thought it was. Exhaling deeply, she turned and walked back over to the sofa. "Go on, ask me."

"What?"

"Ask me." She repeated as she sat down and pulled her legs up in front of her, holding her glass close to her chest. "I know you've been dying to ever since the first day we met."

Leonard was stumped. He hadn't expected this. "I…" his brow furrowed and he panicked just a little, "uh…"

"You wanna know about the ring right?" She looked at him briefly before looking down at her glass, letting out a sigh. She didn't particularly _want_ to talk about this, but she knew he wanted answers and her mother's words still rung loudly in her ears. She really should open up, and he was the only one here she was willing to do that with.

"Well… yeah." He replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He walked around the sofa and sat back down.

"It's okay. I want to tell you." She took in a deep breath, her eyes still refusing to meet his. Worried that if she looked at him he would see the tears she could feel building up. "I do. It's just not..." she stopped to take in another breath, "it's not really easy for me to talk about."

Leonard didn't say a word. He wasn't quite sure what to say. Luckily for him he didn't have to wait too long for her to continue.

"I'm not engaged."

That was a surprise. A good surprise - definitely a good surprise - but one that raised more questions than it answered. "Oh."

"I was." Feeling her throat tighten she took another sip of wine, determined not to cry although she already knew it was only a matter of time before she did. "But I'm not any more."

Seeing that she was on the verge of tears, Leonard shifted a little closer to her. He knew that what she was going to tell him would be difficult for her, and he wanted to make her feel at ease, he just didn't have much experience in this area and wasn't quite sure what to do _to_ comfort her.

A few seconds of pure silence went by, though it felt like considerably longer. Penny's eyes stayed glued to the wine in her glass with a layer of water threatening to break glazing over them, and he realised that she wasn't going to willingly continue. "Penny?" He said as softly as he could, briefly touching her arm to encourage her to look up at him, and when she did his heart melted. He would have given anything he had to have the courage to pull her into a hug right then, to let her lay her head on his shoulder as the tears she held inside fell. But he didn't. Instead he looked her in the eye and gently asked, "What happened?"


End file.
